Earl: They're sending him to state prison for 20 years.
Joy: Long stretch, but at least he'll be able to spend some quality time with his daddy.
Earl: One time me and Hank polished off 4 bottles of Mad Dog and swore to each other that if one of us ever got put away for hard time, the other one would break him out. I hope he doesn't remember that, Randy.
Randy: Joy said I should get a job so you don't have to support me anymore. You know, pay for my food and muppets and what not.
Earl: A purpose is a great thing to have. It gives ya a reason to wake up every morning.
Randy: So, a purpose is like a box of powdered donut holes?
Inmate: My wife's gonna put a razor in her mouth and pass it to me when we made out during my congical visit. Got anything sharp on you?
Randy: Just my toe nails, but I won't put them in my mouth. They're dirty.
Randy: Thanks Darnell, but I was gonna try and find a job where I wouldn't slip in pee-pee.
Darnell: Okay, good luck with that.
Randy: Here's a good one. Make your own hours, no experience necessary.
Earl: No experience? You got a lot of that.
Randy: I don't think I like the exciting world of science anymore. It's no fun being blind.
Earl: After dinner, I'm literally gonna have to help you use the bathroom.
Randy: You don't have to hold anything. Just get me on the seat. I'll go like a girl.
Randy: Earl, the light. It's my purpose.
Earl: Randy, that's just the sun coming out from behind the clouds.
Randy: And it's doing it just for me. How cool is that?
Randy: Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Maybe he can't see that he's smiling. Am I smiling, Earl?