Jim: Hey, does this guy look familiar to you?
George: No, but he’s a hell of a good-looking guy. What? I’m secure enough in my masculinity to recognize a good-looking guy when I see one.

George: Girl smells like angel food cake, but she tastes like French toast.
Jim: She sounds... fattening.

Chris Minor: Uh... listen, we need to talk.
Daphne: You do realize that saying “we need to talk” to your girlfriend has ominous connotations?

JJ: See? Aren’t you glad you brought me now? Who else do you know who could pick a lock?
George: Just about every other guy that I put away.

Sophie Adler: You can’t stop him or me.
Stephanie: You may have altered Jim’s system to make him think that he’s in love with you. But I can tell you that there’s one thing stronger than chemical love, and that’s true love.

Stephanie: Don’t do this. Whatever you feel for Sophie, it’s not real. You and me—we’re real. Eighteen years of candlelit dinners... backyard football games, a-arguing over shelving units... seeing your daughter born... and JJ’s first stitches... remember? I was so scared and you held my hand and you said everything was going to be okay, and I believed you. It’s—it’s like you said. We fit. This is real.