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When The Saints Go - Recap

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Fiona Googles "Lucifer" and fills Kevin in on the results. Jackie joins
them. She checks Fiona's search history after she sends her to join
Tunie and Grace. A fight breaks out, and Kevin smashes a bat on the bar.
Jackie reassures the girls, and Kevin tells them he wasn't going to hit
them, just scare them. It worked.

That night in bed, Jackie climbs on Kevin and says she misses him. It's
mutual.

She goes online, looking for Oxycontin. She erases her search results so
Kevin won't see her recent history. He drops off her coffee and goes to
wake the girls. She makes them breakfast. Kevin checks her history and
finds nothing but links to sobriety and withdrawal. This makes him happy.

Gloria Akalitus is not amused. Some woman from another hospital gets to
meet Michele Obama, and pirates are stealing her chapel statues. By the
way, she's hired a temp named Kelly. She'd appreciate it if Jackie
didn't eat him alive. But what if Jackie gets hungry? "Resist the urge."
Gloria leaves, and Jackie takes a blue pill. Eddie joins her, saying
he's going to ask Tunie out. Jackie's cool with it.

Two patients arrive at the same time. One is badly injured, but only
worried about a dog. The other is a cop who is milking his injury for
everything it's worth. Jackie introduces herself to the woman, and Kelly
takes over while she's standing right there. O'Hara orders him to go
assist Dr. Cooper. When he gets there, the cop asks for morphine. It
looks like half his squad is in there with him, and O'Hara orders
everyone out. The cop tells Cooper that on a scale of 1-10, he's an 11.

Mia threatens to come completely undone if somebody doesn't tell her
where her dog is. Lenny tells her not to worry, the pet is in his rig.
He gives O'Hara the bullet he found on the gurney, that went right
through Mia's arm.

Fitch tells Kelly that he has a girl name, and must have taken a lot of
guff, coming up. Kelly says they dealt it, but he didn't take it.
Suddenly, Cooper is all ghetto. The cop claims he thinks a rib is broken.

Gloria sees Jackie walking the dog through the hospital. "That better
not be a dog." "It's not." She gives the dog water in a bed pan, and
leaves him in the room behind the pharmacy. Cooper joins them, in all
sorts of pain from his foot injury. He needs a little extra TLC on the
floor today. Jackie takes his crutch away from him, and says she
believes in him. Eddie just grins.

An elderly woman (Tottie) refuses to believe Zoey is a nurse. She looks
like a vet assistant. Jackie joins them. She started having heart
palpitations at "Jersey Boys." She said it was a horrible show. Jackie
retorts that people like it, and she return volleys that people are
idiots. Jackie obviously agrees, but says nothing. She asks the woman's
son if he was with her at the show, and he was not. He got a call.
O'Hara joins them. Tottie is overjoyed to see a woman who is not wearing
trousers.

Jackie find Kelly spinning tall tales in her chair at the nurses desk.
Zoey finally points out to him that Jackie is staring at him because
he's sitting at her desk. He didn't know they had assigned desks. He
apologizes for muscling in on her gunshot in trauma. She says she didn't
notice, and leaves again. He drops back into her chair.

Jackie checks on Mia. She says the pain is bearable, but she'd
appreciate it if Jackie could call her sister and ask her to come pick
up her dog. As she leaves, Thor asks her what she thinks of Kelly.
Because he thinks he's amazing. Jackie asks about his blood sugar. He
seems a tad light-headed.

Kelly tells the cop his x-rays look good. No fractures. The cop cuts him
down for not being a doctor, just as Cooper walks in. He tells the cop
the same as Kelly, but he doesn't want to hear it. He wants something
for the pain. Cooper tells him that his achilles was destroyed playing
hoops.

Tottie's son tells O'Hara that if she gets thrown out of St. Albans,
there's nowhere else to take her. She'll have to go home with him, and
his wife will leave. O'Hara asks for a moment alone with her.

Zoey checks in with Mia. She wants a date with Lenny. Zoey agrees to
relay the message.

O'Hara asks about alcohol problems, and Tottie says yes. Prohibition.
O'Hara sympathetically agrees, and asks if she's ever able to enjoy a
cocktail at St. Albans. No. Fruit juice during happy hour. It's
humiliating. She misses her 5:00 sherry with her husband. She'd be
delighted to have a sherry every day at 5:00, doctor's orders.

Cooper and the cop bond while the cop tries to play him into giving him
a prescription. It works. Cooper offers to tell his cop friends that he
broke all of his ribs, he's lucky to be alive.

Kelly talks to Sam about staying on top of his sobriety. Jackie grabs
him to the waiting room. Kelly tries to inject some "you gonna let her
talk to you that way", but Sam says it's just the way she is.

Fiona and Grace play Mystery Date with Tunie. Jackie calls, and Tunie
tells her that he's like a new guy since he found out she's going to her
meetings. "What can I say, it works if you work it." Jackie parrots back
what she just heard Kelly say to Sam.

She swings through Eddie to pick up Percocet for the patient. Kelly
already did, and also swapped it out for Motrin since the patient was
tolerating pain so well. Jackie looks disappointed. She goes in the back
room and hangs with Mia's dog. Eddie walks in as she's about to take a
pill. She asks him not to go out with Tunie. He doesn't answer, and
walks back out. She takes her pill, and looks at the dog's tag. Bingo.

At Mia's bedside, O'Hara asks Jackie if she's okay. She says no. Kevin's
being a dick. O'Hara offers to talk. Jackie accepts.

Zoey asks advice about Mia giving her number to Lenny. O'Hara says she'd
burn it, and throw the ashes to the wind. Zoey yells at Kelly for
sitting on Jackie's chair again. She squeals on him to Jackie, who
doesn't care.

Zoey gives Lenny Mia's number, telling him to do what he wants. He
throws it away and tells her he has no time for anyone except her.

Eddie, O'Hara and Jackie sit in the stripped-down chapel. He says he
can't fill Tottie's prescription for six ounces of sherry. He offers
O'Hara his flask, and she takes a shot. Jackie leaves, with Bingo at her
side.

Gloria watches her statues leave. Jackie joins her on the bench. Kelly
thanks her for a great first day. Gloria can't believe her ears. Jackie
figures Gloria looked like she could use a miracle. She signs off on her
saint paperwork and walks away.

Jackie sits on her stoop at home. Kevin, Tunie and the girls are having
fun inside.

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Warning: Nurse Jackie season 3 episode 6 guide may contain spoilers
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