Episode Quotes
Haley: Sorry about your hair.
Taylor: Sorry I slept with your husband.
Taylor: You’re home early.
Haley: You’re home all the time. What’re you doing on my laptop? Cruising for jail bait?
Taylor: Excuse me?
Haley: Well, I heard your specialty is deflowering freshmen!
Taylor: So the Boy Scout told you. Quite a coincidence, huh? Eh, but look, look at it this way, now we can compare notes.
Haley: It's not funny, Taylor!
Nathan: All right. My first time was at this party at my parent’s beach house. I was pretty wasted and I never really saw the girl again. Until now.
Haley: Until now?
Nathan: Haley, listen, I swear, I hadn’t even heard of you when this happened, okay?
Haley: Taylor?
Nathan: I’m sorry, I just, look she threatened to tell you and I just thought you should hear it from me.
Haley: You slept with my sister?
Nathan: This was like two years ago! I look, I didn’t know you. I didn’t even know there was gonna be a you.
Haley: I should go.
Anna: It’s just that you like girls, or you like guys. Trust me, I wish it was like that for me. Be a lot easier if I could just pick a team.
Lucas: Well, not necessarily. Look, maybe you shouldn’t feel so much pressure to define yourself.
Nathan: It’s a long story. Actually, it’s not a long story, uh, I kinda told Haley that I slept with Taylor.
Lucas: Oh! Wow. Guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to go home.
Jules: Family dinner was never part of the arrangement.
Dan: It was my wife’s idea.
Lucas: Remember when we were in Charleston? And you said you’d done some things you weren’t proud of?
Keith: Yeah.
Lucas: Was it Deb? You and Deb?
Keith: It’s, um, it’s kinda complicated, Luke.
Lucas: No, not really! I mean, there’s some lines you just don’t cross!
Keith: It was a mistake, I know. I know it’s no excuse but I was lonely. Your mom had just turned down my proposal and, and it just sorta happened.
Lucas: (angry) Look, its bad enough it was someone’s wife but Dan’s wife?! He’s never gonna let that go!
Keith: I know you’re disappointed in me, Luke. I’m never gonna make a mistake like that again. I’m with Jules now. And I’m not gonna do anything to mess that up.
Nathan: What the hell are you doing?
Taylor: Shopping. But, apparently, I’m the only James that got the good taste gene.
Nathan: You know what I’m talking about. We agreed to keep what happened between us a secret.
Taylor: Relax, Nathan, Haley doesn’t have a clue.
Andy: Hey, Lucas.
Lucas: Hey, Andy. Uh, okay, um, if you need anything, you know, stereo, Playstation, clean underwear, check the garage.
Taylor: Hey, what happened to the whole "tattoos are for sluts and burnouts" sermon that you gave me?
Haley: Uh, 23 is Nathan’s jersey number and you permanently marked your body with some random spider.
Taylor: How about you, Nathan? Were you in love the first time you had sex?
Haley: Tay!
Taylor: What?! We're family now, we shouldn't have secrets.
Nathan: It's not really any of your business, but the truth is whoever my first was wasn't nearly as important as my last.
Haley: Thank you. (kisses him)