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Orange is the New Black: Can't Fix Crazy

Red tries to sabotage the kitchen to get it back from Gloria, but her plan falls apart when someone get's hurt. Pennsatucky starts a game of emotional warfare against Piper for "disrespecting" her. The inmates start to prepare for the Christmas pageant.

Episode Info
Episode number: 1x13
Airdate: Thursday July 11th, 2013

Guest Stars
Abigail SavageAbigail Savage
As Gina Murphy
Adrienne C. MooreAdrienne C. Moore
As Black Cindy
Alysia ReinerAlysia Reiner
As Natalie Figueroa
Annie GoldenAnnie Golden
As Norma
Barbara RosenblattBarbara Rosenblatt
As Miss Rosa
Beth FowlerBeth Fowler
As Sister Ingalls
Brendan BurkeBrendan Burke
As Officer Wade Donaldson
Cathy CurtinCathy Curtin
As Wanda Bell
Constance ShulmanConstance Shulman
As Yoga Jones
Danielle BrooksDanielle Brooks
As Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson
Dascha PolancoDascha Polanco
As Dayanara Diaz
Diane GuerreroDiane Guerrero
As Maritza
Elizabeth RodriguezElizabeth Rodriguez
As Aleida Diaz
Emma MylesEmma Myles
As Leanne Taylor
Eric H. MorelandEric H. Moreland
As C.O. Culliver
Jackie CruzJackie Cruz
As Flaca
Jessica PimentelJessica Pimentel
As Maria Ruiz
Joanna P. AdlerJoanna P. Adler
As Chaplain Royce
Joel Marsh GarlandJoel Marsh Garland
As S. O'Neill
Julie LakeJulie Lake
As Angie Rice
Kathryn KatesKathryn Kates
As Amy Kanter-Bloom
Lauren LapkusLauren Lapkus
As Susan Fischer
Laverne CoxLaverne Cox
As Sophia Burset
Lea DeLariaLea DeLaria
As Big Boo
Lin TucciLin Tucci
As Anita DeMarco
Lolita FosterLolita Foster
As Eliqua Maxwell
Lori Tan ChinnLori Tan Chinn
As Chang
Matt McGorryMatt McGorry
As John Bennett
Matt PetersMatt Peters
As Joel Luschek
Natasha LyonneNatasha Lyonne
As Nicky Nichols
Nick SandowNick Sandow
As Joe Caputo
Pablo SchreiberPablo Schreiber
As George 'Pornstache' Mendez
Richard GallagherRichard Gallagher
As Andrew Nance
Samira WileySamira Wiley
As Poussey Washington
Selenis LeyvaSelenis Leyva
As Gloria Mendoza
Tamara TorresTamara Torres
As Weeping Woman
Taryn ManningTaryn Manning
As Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett
Todd SusmanTodd Susman
As Howard Bloom
Uzo AdubaUzo Aduba
As Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren
Vicky JeudyVicky Jeudy
As Janae Watson
Yael StoneYael Stone
As Lorna Morello
Bryan LanglitzBryan Langlitz
As Stephen
Farrah KrenekFarrah Krenek
As Farrah the Innkeeper

Jessica Shea AlversonJessica Shea Alverson
As Inmate
Main Cast
Taylor SchillingTaylor Schilling
As Piper Chapman
Laura PreponLaura Prepon
As Alex Vause
Michael J. HarneyMichael J. Harney
As Sam Healy
Michelle HurstMichelle Hurst
As Miss Claudette Pelage
Kate MulgrewKate Mulgrew
As Galina 'Red' Reznikov
Jason BiggsJason Biggs
As Larry Bloom


In the chapel, Sophia and Sister Ingalls watch auditions for the Christmas pageant. The audtions are over-the-top, showing the cast of characters, lots of bad singing, rapping, inappropriate acts. Pennsatucky says she wants to be an angel...

Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Flashbacks: This is the first episode of 'Orange is the New Black' not to feature any flashbacks.

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Run DMCChristmas in HollisInmates try out for the Christmas pageant.

Episode Quotes
Alex: Well, if it isn't the invisible woman. One intense talk about the future and you disappear on me. Not a shocker, but I had gotten my hopes up.
Piper: I'm getting married.
Alex: You've been "getting married" since before you got here. This is not news. Say what you really mean.
Piper: I pick him. I pick Larry.
Alex: Of course you do.

Pornstache: A man's greatest struggle in life is to find a woman who is sexy, but like still could be a mom. She's that, Benny. I feel like she could be the one. You know, I see myself buying sheets with her, taking trips to Mount Rushmore--
Bennett: That's great...

Red: So how was breakfast?
Nicky: Spicy...and my potatoes were cold.
Red: But it wasn't a disaster?
Nicky: I heard that someone found a long black hair in her eggs, but it went unconfirmed.

Taystee: Heard you broke up with your girl.
Piper: Wow, Twitter's got nothing on prison.
Taystee: You feel bad?
Piper: I feel like I did what I needed to do.
Taystee: She mad?
Piper: Yup.
Taystee: Mad enough to leave a dead rat on your locker?
Piper: ...what?

Episode Goofs

When Black Cindy is talking to Piper about the bible she stands behind her and points, agreeing with something that Taystee says. The camera angle changes, and Black Cindy's hand is making a completely different gesture.

Episode References
Season 1, Episode 12: Pennsatucky swore to kill Piper at the end of 1x12 "Fool Me Once" after Piper disrespected her.

Season 1, Episode 12: Larry asked Piper to marry him right away at the end of 1x12 "Fool Me Once."

Season 1, Episode 11: Daya slept with Pornstache in 1x11 "Tall Men With Feelings" in an attempt to get him charged with rape, and to cover up her pregnancy.

Other Episode Crew

CastingJennifer Euston
Unit Production ManagerDavid Price (2)  |  Neri Kyle Tannenbaum
First Assistant DirectorKaren M. Kane
Second Assistant DirectorMatt Lake
Staff WriterSian Heder  |  Nick Jones (1)  |  Lauren Morelli
Music EditorMaarten Hofmeijer
Music SupervisorBruce Gilbert (1)
Key GripChris Skutch
Set DecoratorChryss Hionis
Location ManagerLauri Pitkus
Property MasterRachael Weinzimer
Construction CoordinatorVincent Accardi
Script SupervisorSeth Copans
Production CoordinatorAdam Donnelly
Script CoordinatorHartley Voss
Assistant EditorJeff Cahn
Post Production SupervisorArturo Guzman
Re-Recording MixerChris Philp  |  John Chamberlin
Stunt CoordinatorJennifer Lamb
Art DirectorJordan Jacobs
Post Production CoordinatorMichael Wise
Executive ConsultantPiper Kerman
Sound MixerJoseph White
Production AccountantJen Cox
Casting AssistantSj Allocco
Chief Lighting TechnicianJennifer Scarlata
Transportation CaptainDennis Salomone
"A" Camera OperatorOliver Cary
Sound SupervisorJohn Kincade
Department Head Make-upMichal Bigger
Special Effects CoordinatorDoug Coleman
Digital Imaging TechnicianMatthew Selkirk
"B" Camera OperatorPeter Hlinomaz
Wardrobe SupervisorBarbara Hause
Costume DesignJennifer Rogien
Music ClearanceMatthew Lilley
Department Head HairstylistValerie Velez
Music ByBrandon Jay  |  Scott Doherty  |  Gwendolyn Sanford
Missing Information
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