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Orange is the New Black: Can't Fix Crazy

Red tries to sabotage the kitchen to get it back from Gloria, but her plan falls apart when someone get's hurt. Pennsatucky starts a game of emotional warfare against Piper for "disrespecting" her. The inmates start to prepare for the Christmas pageant.

Episode Info

Episode number: 1x13
Airdate: Thursday July 11th, 2013

  • Currently 9/10
9/10 (3 Votes cast)
Guest Stars
Abigail Savage
As Gina Murphy
Adrienne C. Moore
As Black Cindy
Alysia Reiner
As Natalie Figueroa
Annie Golden
As Norma
Barbara Rosenblatt
As Miss Rosa
Beth Fowler
As Sister Ingalls
Brendan Burke
As Officer Wade Donaldson
Cathy Curtin
As Wanda Bell
Constance Shulman
As Yoga Jones
Danielle Brooks
As Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson
Dascha Polanco
As Dayanara Diaz
Diane Guerrero
As Maritza
Elizabeth Rodriguez
As Aleida Diaz
Emma Myles
As Leanne Taylor
Eric H. Moreland
As C.O. Culliver
Jackie Cruz
As Flaca
Jessica Pimentel
As Maria Ruiz
Joanna P. Adler
As Chaplain Royce
Joel Marsh Garland
As S. O'Neill
Julie Lake
As Angie Rice
Kathryn Kates
As Amy Kanter-Bloom
Lauren Lapkus
As Susan Fischer
Laverne Cox
As Sophia Burset
Lea DeLaria
As Big Boo
Lin Tucci
As Anita DeMarco
Lolita Foster
As Eliqua Maxwell
Lori Tan Chinn
As Chang
Matt McGorry
As John Bennett
Matt Peters
As Joel Luschek
Natasha Lyonne
As Nicky Nichols
Nick Sandow
As Joe Caputo
Pablo Schreiber
As George 'Pornstache' Mendez
Richard Gallagher
As Andrew Nance
Samira Wiley
As Poussey Washington
Selenis Leyva
As Gloria Mendoza
Tamara Torres
As Weeping Woman
Taryn Manning
As Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett
Todd Susman
As Howard Bloom
Uzo Aduba
As Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren
Vicky Jeudy
As Janae Watson
Yael Stone
As Lorna Morello
Bryan Langlitz
As Stephen
Farrah Krenek
As Farrah the Innkeeper

Jessica Shea Alverson
As Inmate
Main Cast
Taylor Schilling
As Piper Chapman
Laura Prepon
As Alex Vause
Michael J. Harney
As Sam Healy
Michelle Hurst
As Miss Claudette Pelage
Kate Mulgrew
As Galina 'Red' Reznikov
Jason Biggs
As Larry Bloom


In the chapel, Sophia and Sister Ingalls watch auditions for the Christmas pageant. The audtions are over-the-top, showing the cast of characters, lots of bad singing, rapping, inappropriate acts. Pennsatucky says she wants to be an angel...

Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Flashbacks: This is the first episode of 'Orange is the New Black' not to feature any flashbacks.

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Run DMCChristmas in HollisInmates try out for the Christmas pageant.

Episode Quotes
Alex: Well, if it isn't the invisible woman. One intense talk about the future and you disappear on me. Not a shocker, but I had gotten my hopes up.
Piper: I'm getting married.
Alex: You've been "getting married" since before you got here. This is not news. Say what you really mean.
Piper: I pick him. I pick Larry.
Alex: Of course you do.

Pornstache: A man's greatest struggle in life is to find a woman who is sexy, but like still could be a mom. She's that, Benny. I feel like she could be the one. You know, I see myself buying sheets with her, taking trips to Mount Rushmore--
Bennett: That's great...

Red: So how was breakfast?
Nicky: Spicy...and my potatoes were cold.
Red: But it wasn't a disaster?
Nicky: I heard that someone found a long black hair in her eggs, but it went unconfirmed.

Taystee: Heard you broke up with your girl.
Piper: Wow, Twitter's got nothing on prison.
Taystee: You feel bad?
Piper: I feel like I did what I needed to do.
Taystee: She mad?
Piper: Yup.
Taystee: Mad enough to leave a dead rat on your locker?
Piper: ...what?

Episode Goofs

When Black Cindy is talking to Piper about the bible she stands behind her and points, agreeing with something that Taystee says. The camera angle changes, and Black Cindy's hand is making a completely different gesture.

Episode References
Season 1, Episode 12: Pennsatucky swore to kill Piper at the end of 1x12 "Fool Me Once" after Piper disrespected her.

Season 1, Episode 12: Larry asked Piper to marry him right away at the end of 1x12 "Fool Me Once."

Season 1, Episode 11: Daya slept with Pornstache in 1x11 "Tall Men With Feelings" in an attempt to get him charged with rape, and to cover up her pregnancy.

Other Episode Crew

CastingJennifer Euston
Unit Production ManagerDavid Price (2)  |  Neri Kyle Tannenbaum
First Assistant DirectorKaren M. Kane
Second Assistant DirectorMatt Lake
Staff WriterSian Heder  |  Nick Jones (1)  |  Lauren Morelli
Music EditorMaarten Hofmeijer
Music SupervisorBruce Gilbert (1)
Key GripChris Skutch
Set DecoratorChryss Hionis
Location ManagerLauri Pitkus
Property MasterRachael Weinzimer
Construction CoordinatorVincent Accardi
Script SupervisorSeth Copans
Production CoordinatorAdam Donnelly
Script CoordinatorHartley Voss
Assistant EditorJeff Cahn
Post Production SupervisorArturo Guzman
Re-Recording MixerChris Philp  |  John Chamberlin
Stunt CoordinatorJennifer Lamb
Art DirectorJordan Jacobs
Post Production CoordinatorMichael Wise
Executive ConsultantPiper Kerman
Sound MixerJoseph White
Production AccountantJen Cox
Casting AssistantSj Allocco
Chief Lighting TechnicianJennifer Scarlata
Transportation CaptainDennis Salomone
"A" Camera OperatorOliver Cary
Sound SupervisorJohn Kincade
Department Head Make-upMichal Bigger
Special Effects CoordinatorDoug Coleman
Digital Imaging TechnicianMatthew Selkirk
"B" Camera OperatorPeter Hlinomaz
Wardrobe SupervisorBarbara Hause
Costume DesignJennifer Rogien
Music ClearanceMatthew Lilley
Department Head HairstylistValerie Velez
Music ByBrandon Jay  |  Scott Doherty  |  Gwendolyn Sanford
Warning: Orange is the New Black season 1 episode 13 guide may contain spoilers
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