Episode Quotes
Pim: Okay family, I don't have much time for chit-chat. I need donations: watches, necklaces, belt buckles, gold fillings... don't be stingy. It's for a good cause.
(Phil, Lloyd, and Barbara drop their donations, including watches, billfolds, and jewelry, into the box)
Pim: Thank you. Your donations are appreciated, I'm touched... et cetera, et cetera... (rolls eyes and leaves)
Lloyd: Phil...it's toe-time!
Pim: Hey! You with the face! Come here!
Mr. Fleet: Alright everyone, please remove your shoes and socks.
Phil: Excuse me, is there a place where I can change?
Keely: Change? We're just taking off our shoes and socks...
Mr. Fleet: Well, oddly enough, for some of our shyer visitors, we do have changing facilities.
Mr. Fleet: (spots Phil's fake toe in the tub) Your attention please! Nobody move; we have detected a foreign article in the slurry!
Mr. Hackett: (after receiving $225 from Pim and Debbie) I love public service.
Phil: It does feel kind of good to get my toe off my chest.
Keely: Phil you're my best friend. Just promise me no more secrets. You and I are on a 100% honesty pact: Deal?
Phil: Deal.
(she starts to walk away)
Phil: Uh, wait, there's... one more thing.
Keely: What is it? Don't worry!
Phil: The reason I have four toes is because where I'm from, everyone does. I grew up over a hundred years from now: I'm from the future.
Debbie Berwick: Excuse us, Mr. Hackett, but we just wanted to wish you good luck on what is growing out of your head?!
Debbie: No disrespect, Mr. Hackett, but I think I'm going to have to give my money to a needier charity.
Pim: Yeah me too. Mine's going to the "Pim Diffy needs a new high-definition TV" foundation.
Phil: So, we were taking our vacation, visiting the Prehistoric era: there were cavemen and dinosaurs, but whatever, my dad had to go back to work... (high pitched laugh) So, ah, we swung by the French Revolution and headed for home. But, our time machine broke down, so now we're stuck here in your time. According to my dad, if the government found out, we'd be captured - or worse.
(Keely stares ahead vacantly)
Phil: If you can hear me can you nod or something?
Principal: Okay, get in here, Diffy! It's your turn!
Phil: I just wanted my best friend to know the truth about me...
Lloyd: You told her WHAT? Why?!
Phil: I had to! She told me she had dreams about being married to Mr. Potato Head! Look, it's Keely's innermost secret. When she told me that, I realized that it doesn't matter what century you're from; real friends are truthful with each other. And I need a friend. A real friend.
Lloyd: Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, PHIL! Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, when this leaks out, there's gonna be news reports, and a manhunt! Before you know it, they're going to be busting down our door!
(the back gate starts rattling)
Lloyd: Mummalooks! Did you hear that? They're here!
(Lloyd goes to run inside; the gate opens and Keely walks into the yard)
Keely: Hey! Sorry about the racket. Your gate sticks a bit...
(after watching Phil and Keely zoom off on the SkyAk)
Barbara: Oh, Honey... remember our first SkyAk ride?
Lloyd: ...I never had a SkyAk...
Mr. Hackett: That's right, Debbie, the Dust Bowl, which ripped through the state of Oklahoma. Once a fertile land which was covered in lush crops and fields, the Dust Bowl left behind a dry, barren wasteland where nothing would grow. (turns around to write on the board, revealing that the entire back of his head is still bald)