Juliet: So, I'm here, but I'm not. Get it?
Shawn: Gus, what's the word?
Gus: Uh, that would be "mum."
Juliet: I need a psychic to read the sorority house. Can you come by tonight?
Shawn: Can we wear pajamas?
Shawn: Even better.
Goochberg: I'm a detective. Goochberg. "Gooch" to people I respect and those few lucky enough to have seen me naked. Guess which one you should use.
Lassiter: Oh, God. The first one?
Bianca: I was lying in bed watching One Tree Hill, my favorite show. Chad Michael Murray is so hot. And I have this cute liquid kitty alarm clock, right? It meows, and it blinks its eyes every half hour. So, all of a sudden, they just started blinking, over and over and over, and then it just stopped! And then it let out this half-meow. (imitates) And then its tail fell off. Then...it exploded.
Shawn: Wow. Uh, slow build. Uh, half-meow? Unexpected. Didn't see the end coming at all.
Juliet: (undercover, pretending to not know Shawn) Mr...Spencer, is it?
Shawn: (trying to guess Juliet's undercover name) Yes, that's correct, Mrs. Barn...door? Take... bill.... mat.... sn-snatcher? Bik... gert... sten? Per... plintken? Baumgartner.
Shawn: (to Bianca) Now, what I'm going to need from you is an article of clothing, preferably an undergarment.
Juliet: Don't you usually get that from the victim?
Shawn: I've seen it both ways.
Juliet: Holy shitzu!
Shawn: Excuse me?
Juliet: This nail polish is already starting to chip.
Shawn: Hey, buddy, good news. I just got a fax confirming that the city of Santa Barbara has unanimously voted you Exorcist of the Year. (claps)
Gus: OK, make all your little jokes, but I know who was right on my ass all the way to the car.
Shawn: I had no choice. You were my ride home.
Gus: Shawn, you were screaming, too.
Shawn: Yes, I was screaming, "Gus, stop! Let's be brave!"
Karen: You withheld evidence, and by conspiring with Bianca, we can charge you with involuntary manslaughter.
(Betty stares blankly)
Karen: You understand that's a crime?
Betty: Oh, God, no! (cries) No!
(about having dinner with Henry)
Shawn: If you come, we can roll earlier. We'll say we're working on a case.
Gus: We are working on a case.
Shawn: Sweet. So it's settled.
Gus: (to Shawn) And what could you possibly ask that girl that the police already haven't?
(cut to a new scene)
Shawn: Want to split a pineapple? (holds it up)
Alice: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Shawn: My name is Ichabod Fletchman, Sticky Icky to my boys, but that's neither here nor there. What's important is that this baby is 82% Hawaiian, and I've got all afternoon.
Henry: I have no idea how that ridiculous urban legend got started in the first place. (walks away)
Shawn: Your big-ass mouth.
Gus: I wanted to keep it a secret. You're the one who was broadcasting it at the lunch table.
Shawn: I can't believe this.
Gus: We actually started an urban legend.
Shawn: That's dope!
Shawn: Here's the plan. You ring the doorbell and distract who— ...whom?
Shawn: Whom? Who? Who?
Shawn: Person! The person that answers the door. I go around back, figure out a way in.
Gus: Are you kidding? It took you the whole ride to come up with that?
Shawn: Well, feel free to make revisions, Gus.
Gus: OK, Shawn, listen to me. If I'm gonna go back to that creepy-ass institution that I've been afraid to drive by since I was nine, there's gonna be some rules and regulations.
Shawn: Gus, this is no time for fun—
Gus: Listen, Shawn! I will not enter a room first. I will not enter a room last. I will not investigate any suspicious noises or go looking for a fuse box. And you will not, under any circumstance, leave me by myself without a weapon of some sort. Do you understand and agree to my terms?
Shawn: I'm not prepared to negotiate—
Gus: Do you understand, Shawn!
Shawn: Yes! I do, yes!
Gus: All right. Let's go help Juliet.
Young Gus: Well, can I eat my candy?
Henry: Knock yourself out, Lando...
Gus' Halloween costume was that of the character Lando Calrissian, played by Billie Dee Williams, in the Star Wars films.
Bianca: I was lying in bed watching One Tree Hill, my favorite show. Chad Michael Murray is so hot.
One Tree Hill is a teen drama that premiered in 2003. Chad Michael Murray plays the role of Lucas Scott. Its focus is on relationships, particularly that of brothers Lucas and Nathan Scott.
Betty: (to Gus)
Did you really play Bud on The Cosby Show
In the episode "Theo's Flight
" of the '80s sitcom The Cosby Show
, Deon Richmond plays Rudy's new boyfriend, Kenny. However, she opts to call him Bud instead of using his real name.
Shawn: The face at the window? The old "floodlight on the roof" trick. That's how they do it at Haunted Mansion. Don't ask me how I know that.
The Haunted Mansion is a popular attraction at the Disney theme parks. It uses many different kinds of special effects and illusions to provide riders with a frightening experience.
Shawn: (bends finger syllabically) Acnaib. Acnaib.
Shawn's actions and tone mimic the famous line spoken in The Shining, an '80s horror movie based on the Stephen King novel. The son, Danny, becomes entranced and begins to chant the word "redrum" repeatedly before writing it down. A reflection in the mirror reveals that "redrum" is "murder" spelled backwards.
Betty: You know, like that movie with the hedge maze and Vincent Van Patten?
Juliet: Hell Night.
Hell Night is an '80s film about four pledges who must spend the night in an old mansion where a man murdered his family. Vincent Van Patten plays Seth, one of the two fraternity pledges.
Shawn: This girl is Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct, which makes me Michael Douglas and you George Dzundza...whose name is actually Gus in the film!
Basic Instinct is a '90s film about detective Nick Curran, played by Michael Douglas, and his investigation of a murder. Sharon Stone plays Catherine Tramell, whom Curran suspects as the murderer.
Alice: Well, then who are you?
Shawn: (seeing a guy on a bike) Hint, Green Day there is about to eat some stone.
Green Day is an American rock band. Some may describe the band as looking "punk rock," meaning spiked hair, piercings, skate shoes, studded belt, etc.
(about the suicide he witnessed twenty years ago)
Shawn: It was a very scary thing for two young boys. It certainly puts a new spin on the nanny in The Omen.
The Omen is a '70s horror film about Damien Thorn, the son of the devil. Under the influence of demonic forces, Damien's nanny commits suicide by jumping out of the window with a noose around her neck.
Shawn: This is Silence of the Lambs! Which means we're both Scott Glenn!
The Silence of the Lambs is a '90s horror film about Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a cannibalistic serial killer. Scott Glenn plays Jack Crawford. While using Lecter's information to track down a serial killer known as Buffalo Bill, Crawford ends up in the wrong location. This gives Buffalo Bill the opportunity to kill again.
Alice: And so now, on behalf of the entire suit of the broken hearts, Alice will now lop off the queen's head!
This is a reference to the book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. One of the characters that Alice meets is the Queen of Hearts. The Queen has an inclination for beheading those whom upset her, and she is often heard shouting, "Off with their heads!" She quickly develops a disliking for Alice and demands that her head be cut off.