(Henry inquires about Gus and Shawn's secret club in a 1987 flashback)
Henry: You guys got any rules?
Gus: Yes, no girls.
Shawn: And everybody has to be under twelve. No old guys.
Gus: And they have to have a love of correct grammar.
Shawn: That's not a rule!
Gus: You said we could have one special rule. That's mine.
Shawn: And that's the best rule you could think of?
Gus: I think you mean "That's the best rule of which you could think."
Shawn: I'm not being in a club with this!
Gus: Fine, I don't need you and your misplaced prepositions! (pauses and looks up at Henry) Wanna be in a club?
Gus: I still don't see why you're so uptight. Thirty seconds ago you were thrilled your dad bailed on you.
Shawn: That's when I thought he was dying.
Gus: Practically every doctor in the city's a member here. Do you realize what this means?
Shawn: Yes, it means my dad, Mr. Integrity, is nothing more than a lying liar from Liarsburg.
Shawn: I have more important issues to deal with. I want the truth. What really happened to my cat Chairman Meow?
Henry: You want answers?
Shawn: I want the truth!
Henry: You can't handle the truth!
Henry: This is not the time for your shenanigans.
Shawn: It was a single shenanigan. Technically more of a hijink.
Gus: (on the phone) Tuesday at eleven is perfect. I'll be there with bells on. (laughs) OK. (hangs up)
Shawn: Dude, who says that?
Gus: Closers. Closers say that.
Shawn: Oh, if by closers you mean middle-aged women then yes, I do believe I've heard the phrase.
(Shawn shows Gus a video of the Monarch members performing a ritual)
Shawn: It's weird.
Gus: Weird? Those guys look downright evil. White men in hoods?
Shawn: Dude, they're violet.
Gus: That's how it starts, Shawn.
Shawn: Lassie! What are you doing here?
Lassiter: I think you know why I'm here.
Shawn: Well, hopefully you're here to help. Gus and I are about to do some scrapbooking. We'll need someone who can work the scallop scissors.
Lassiter: This is a discreet investigation.
Shawn: I'd like to show you something. (holds his hand out horizontally) See this? It's the lodge radar. And look at this. (he moves his other hand below the first) It's me flying underneath it. (caws) Now look down here. It's Gus. (sadly) He can't fly.
Shawn: (reading various plaques) Twenty-five Gs for Komputers for Kids? Thirty Gs for Toys for Kids. Fifteen grand for Clothing for Kids?
Gus: These guys are ultra philanthropists. They're the most charitable organization in the city. Why would they commit murder?
Shawn: Well, maybe it was for the kids.
Shawn: (to Gus' new clients) You're in good hands with Gus. Nimble, agile hands. Surgeon's hands, really. He once removed a boil from his own thigh using a paper clip and a warm can of Sprite.
(Henry pours pop over a straw wrapper on Shawn's diagram)
Henry: Who's at the top? Huh? Who's the next guy in line?
Shawn: I know where the top is. You could have just pointed. Now there's Coke all over everything.
Henry: Forget it. Grow up. (leaves)
Shawn: (to Gus) Me grow up. Grown man makes a crawly snake.
Shawn: Well, I bet they're very busy inside. Might I suggest coming back this evening and breaking in?
Gus: Good idea. Let me see what I'm doing for the next three to five years with time off for good behavior.
Shawn: (to Lassiter) Now that I've joined the lodge, that makes your father-in-law my brother. Which makes me your uncle … in-law. It's gonna get especially awkward around the holidays.
Lassiter: I know Irving Parker very well, and he wouldn't kill anyone. Sure he might hobble their spirit and crush their soul and dance on the flaming ashes of their broken marriage, which he had a part in ending, but he wouldn't kill anyone.
Gus: I was in that lodge making contacts.
Shawn: I know, you have "sales reptitude." Now can we please retire that expression? Throw it a party, put it on Medicare, it's just not working anymore.
Shawn: (to an artist painting his portrait) Tobias, I've heard the canvas adds ten pounds. Is that accurate? Maybe you could paint some angry tigers or a puma, lying prostrate at my feet.
Artist: This is a portrait of your head.
Gus: I thought we were here to find something about Holmstrom.
Shawn: We are. This is for posterity. Don't worry, you're next.
Artist: Oh, he doesn't get one. He's not a member yet.
Shawn: Maybe we could paint him in the background of mine. Put his head in the puma's mouth!
Gus: (to the artist) You're going to ignore that.
Shawn: (breaking in to the lodge) Say what you will about credit cards and paperclips. Sometimes a door just needs to be owned.
Gus: That's a screwdriver, Shawn.
Shawn: Screwdrivers, too.
Irving Parker: Are we done?
Lassiter: We're done when I say we're done! (pause) We're done.
The idea of strange goings-on with a secret society is also used in the movie Eyes Wide Shut, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. In fact, the piano music that plays when Shawn and Gus first discover Holmstrom's dead body is reminiscent of "Musica Ricercata No. 2," which is used in the film.
(in a flashback to 1987)
Shawn and Gus: (chanting) Kyrie eleison. Kyrie eleison.
This phrase is used in the 1986 hit song "Kyrie" by the band Mr. Mister. It translates to "Lord, have mercy" in Greek.
Shawn: (looking at a portrait of a bald man) Dude, Moby's a monarch!
Moby is a famous musician. He is recognizable for his lack of hair.
Shawn: (looking at a photograph of a bespectacled man): I'm pretty sure that's Chuck from Wonder Years.
The Wonder Years is a television show that centers around Kevin Arnold (Fred Savage) and growing up in the '60s and '70s. Chuck Coleman, played by Psych writer Andy Berman, was one of Kevin's friends.
Shawn: What really happened to my cat Chairman Meow?
The name Chairman Meow is a parody of Mao Zedong, who was the first Chairman of the Communist Party of China starting in the 1940s.
Henry: You can't handle the truth!
This is a reference to Jack Nicholson's famous courtroom speech in the 1992 movie A Few Good Men, directed to Tom Cruise's character Lt. Kaffee.
Shawn: (to Lassiter) There was a fifteen-minute waiting period. I finally learned the lyrics to "Informer" while they convened and agreed on me.
"Informer" is a chart topping hit by Canadian reggae musician Snow. It is known for its incomprehensible lyrics.
Gus: (introducing Shawn) And this is my associate, William Zane.
William Zane, better known as Billy Zane, is an actor and director. He has been in numerous movies but is probably best known for his role as Rose's fiancé, Cal, in the film Titanic.
Irving: And I'm through talking to you nicely. I want you to turn around and get the hell outta here.
Shawn: (laughs) S—
Irving: Right now!
Shawn: (quietly to Gus) I'm surprised he didn't say "Good day."
This is a reference to the 1971 movie Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Five lucky children win a contest to tour the factory of eccentric chocolate maker Willy Wonka. At the end of the film, Wonka angrily tells Charlie and his grandfather to leave. He closes his rant with, "Good day, sir!" After some last-minute insulting from Grandpa, Wonka shouts, "I said good day!"
Shawn: I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.
Gus: That was Tom Hanks in The Terminal.
The Terminal stars Tom Hanks as Viktor Navorski. Because of political events in his home country of Krakozhia, he cannot gain access into the United States but also cannot return back to Krakozhia. Thus, he has no choice but to live in the airport terminal and remains stranded there for nearly a year.
Shawn: And I'm tired of reading Highlights for Children. They always hide the apple in the bike!
Highlights is a children's magazine that has been in publication for over fifty years. One of its usual features is "Hidden Pictures," in which the task is to find a list of everyday objects hidden in one large picture. Other recurring pieces are "The Timbertoes" and "Goofus & Gallant."