Sophie: We have a very abulic board of directors.
Lassiter: (speaking quickly) Good, I'd like to speak with each one of them, soon as the sun rises. Now, if you'll forgive us, we have several high-profile cases that don't involve archaic security systems and run-down buildings. O'Hara, put out an APB on the guard's vehicle, look up the word "abulic," and meet us back at the station.
Shawn: (looking at his dinosaur plaque) Uh-oh.
Juliet: What's wrong?
Shawn: They only put one name on there!
Shawn: So Gus is gonna have an aneurysm. And not the good kind.
Shawn: Shawn Spencer.
Sophie: I know. Sophie Morris-Bridgewell.
Shawn: I know.
Sophie: Everyone certainly loves you down here.
Shawn: And I love you ... metaphorically.
(Juliet gives him a funny look)
Shawn: What? You had your shot.
Shawn: I have a problem.
Sophie: What is it?
Shawn: The layout of this display is horrible. Who designed this? It's ridiculous. (indicating two sculptures on pedestals) Really? We need two of these? Queen ... Nerfer-titti?
Juliet: (correcting his pronunciation) Nefertiti.
Shawn: I've heard it both ways.
Lassiter: The mummy walked out? Come on, you're just trying to impress that pretty little assistant curator.
Shawn: Was she pretty? I hadn't noticed.
Lassiter: Really? Brown eyes, languid smile, long slender neck of a Balanchine dancer.
Juliet: I had three different hairstyles last week and you didn't comment on one.
Karen: What I have to say is very … difficult.
Shawn: If this in any way pertains to Lassiter's third testicle, I'm afraid we already know.
Gus: (reading the dinosaur plaque) "Paleo-Sleuth Shawn Spencer."
Shawn: I know.
Gus: I dug that thing up, too.
Shawn: Gus, believe me. I was appalled myself at first—sickened, really—but then I noticed. Look, they didn't forget you completely.
Shawn: There, right there. The "photo by" section.
Gus: That says "photo by Bruton Gaster."
Shawn: Well, I gave them the info when I was driving through a tunnel, so that probably played a role.
(Gus refuses to walk into the mummy room for fear of being cursed)
Shawn: Come on, man. This is gonna be good for you. Walk to me. Face your fears.
Gus: You can talk all you want, but facts and logic will win out this time.
Shawn: Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy who thinks he's gonna get his face melted off?
Gus: I'm not hearing it, Shawn.
Shawn: We'll communicate on the phone, so give me a call.
Gus: No, you call me. This is my work cell. I'm not paying for that call.
Shawn: Gus, it's usage minutes. It doesn't matter which one of us makes the call.
Gus: Just call me, Shawn!
Shawn: Fine. (he leaves the room and reenters a few seconds later) I'm sorry, I can't let this go. It's a monthly plan. It's a minutes plan.
(as Gus watches Shawn try to hide from the security system, Shawn stops to flirt with Sophie and mutes his cell phone so Gus can't listen)
Gus: You're muting me? For the first interesting thing that's happened? (mocking Shawn) Look at me, look at me, I love my hair. I can make obscure '80s references that nobody understands. Laugh at me, ha-ha … ha. Hey, know something about me? I have a motorcycle, but I never seem to be riding it.
Shawn: Come on, man. Haven't you ever wanted to spend the night in a museum? You know, do it up with all the stuffed creatures and the bones?
Gus: No, Shawn. I haven't. I can't spend the night in the museum. I don't have my toothbrush. I don't have any of my multivitamins. And oh, yeah, I don't want my soul suffering eternal damnation for disrupting the sleep of an Egyptian canal digger!
Shawn: Don't be mad.
Gus: Why would I be mad? I'm locked in a museum with possibly a violent criminal and probably an angry mummy spirit. Oh, and here's a bonus: we have no phones.
Shawn: I told you to charge that phone.
Gus: You did not.
Shawn: I didn't? Does thinking it count?
(Shawn shows Gus a Confederate flag hanging upside down on the wall)
Shawn: What is wrong with this flag?
Shawn: Besides that.
Shawn: And this little nook is not in camera range.
Gus: It's not a nook.
Shawn: What would you call it? It's clearly not a corner. Cranny? Will you sign off on cranny?
Gus: Why am I here, Shawn?
Shawn: Because … somebody didn't want the camera to see whatever happened in this cranny.
Gus: I never signed off on cranny.
Gus: The Lexan glass case that houses it is worth more.
Shawn: "Lexan glass"?
Gus: Yeah. It's bulletproof.
Shawn: Well, it would have to be in case the guns decide to fire themselves. Lexan glass…
Gus: What? That's common knowledge, Shawn. People know that.
Shawn: Who? People in Charlton Heston's house?
Gus: Yes. And … your mama.
Shawn: (trying to convince Gus to come back on the case) I need you! I need the sweet blue shirt. I need the pants. I need the winsome smile that hides the sad Jamaican clown inside.
(Shawn and Gus meet up with the cops and find them pulling a coffin out of the ground)
Shawn: Oh, come on, dude. I honestly had no idea he was gonna be pulling a corpse from the ground.
Gus: Don't worry about it, Shawn. I honestly didn't know I was gonna be putting my foot in your ass. Life's full of surprises.
Henry: I've been leaving messages on your phone.
Shawn: Yeah, I sorta dropped my phone.
Henry: Yeah, what did I tell you about taking care of your stuff?
Shawn: You know what? You're right. First my tricycle out in the yard, now this? I see a pattern developing here.
Henry: I don't know if you have an plans, but, um… (Henry lowers his voice and leans in closely to Shawn) Are you busy on Saturday?
Shawn: You—you want me to come with you to awkward class?
Shawn: (to Hannah) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The name of your film is Night Cycle?
Gus: What's wrong with that?
Shawn: Well, it's kind of boring … unless it's about a motorcycle that comes to life at night, solves crime, and does sweet wheelies.
Shawn: Dude, he took that van!
Hannah: The mummy?
Gus: Great, now we got a mummy on the loose and the son of a bitch knows how to drive a stick?
(the van veers off into the woods and crashes into a tree)
Shawn: Let's go get 'em.
Gus: I'm not getting out there!
Shawn: Dude, they hit a tree. Whoever they are, they're—they're not moving. They're incapacitated. They could be hurt, maybe even dead.
Gus: Maybe undead.
Shawn: They might need our help.
Gus: Or our internal organs!
Episode Title: Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead
This is a reference to the horror film Dawn of the Dead, a sequel to Night of the Living Dead. In essence, the film is about the growing epidemic of zombies in the United States. Zombies are human corpses that have come back to life, which parallels Shawn's theory that the mummy somehow walked out of the museum on its own accord.
Visual: Shawn's parents watch a monster movie in a flashback.
They are watching the 1954 movie Creature from the Black Lagoon. In the film, scientists discover a creature known as the Gill-man in a nearby lagoon. The "comforting" words that Henry gives to Shawn really have little pertinence to the subject matter of the movie.
Sophie: Now, this all cracks of something larger than petty crime, and—not to sound too Shirley MacLaine—screams of something potentially supernatural.
Shirley MacLaine is an actress known for her New Age ideals, including things like astrology and numerology. She has also written books, many of which center around her strong beliefs in spirituality.
Shawn: (to Juliet on the phone) Oh, you wanna watch a movie together over the phone? Please say it's Father of the Bride II. How about Captain Ron? Pure Luck? You don't have anything with Martin Short?
All three of these films are '90s comedies that Martin Short has appeared in.
Father of the Bride Part II stars Steve Martin as George Banks. In the first film, his daughter got married; in the sequel, she's expecting a baby. Martin Short plays Franck Eggelhoffer, former wedding planner, who is called on to plan a baby shower.
In Captain Ron, Martin Short plays Martin Harvey, a man who has just inherited a yacht from a deceased relative. Kurt Russell plays Captain Ron, a peculiar man who helps Martin and his family sail to Miami.
Pure Luck stars Martin Short as Eugene Proctor, a man whom bad luck seems to follow in all situations. Proctor's boss has just hired him to find his daughter, who also suffers from having routinely bad luck.
Shawn: Queen ... Nerfer-titti?
Nefertiti was an ancient Egyptian queen. She was known for her beauty, and her bust, currently on display in the Altes Museum in Berlin, is one of the most recognizable statues in the world. She and her husband, Pharaoh Akhenaten, converted Egypt from polytheism to monotheism. The sun disc, Aten, was worshiped as the one universal God.
Shawn: Yes, I can see it. The lid sliding off. The being rising up, walking across the floor, not unlike an Egyptian.
"Walk Like an Egyptian" is an '80s hit song from the all-female band The Bangles.
Gus: (watching Shawn on the security system's video) This is like watching Entrapment, if instead of Catherine Zeta-Jones, they have some guy with pancake butt.
In the 1999 film Entrapment, Zeta-Jones plays insurance investigator Virginia Baker, who joins forces with master thief Robert MacDougal (Sean Connery) in a heist. In one riveting scene, Connery watches as Zeta-Jones, clad in a black leather outfit, makes her way through a complex system of lasers, leading to many shots of her rounded rear.
Gus: I know how the eyes work, Shawn. I just hope I still have mine in the morning.
This is a reference to the movie The Mummy. It stars Brendan Fraser as treasure hunter Rick O'Connell, whose group accidentally awakens the cursed mummy Imhotep. One of Imhotep's victims, Mr. Burns, gets his eyes and tongue removed, helping Imhotep regenerate into a human being.
(Shawn is in disbelief that Gus knows that bulletproof Lexan glass is housing the guns)
Gus: That's common knowledge, Shawn. People know that.
Shawn: Who? People in Charlton Heston's house?
Charlton Heston is an actor and well-known advocate of gun rights. From 1998 until 2003, he was the president of the National Rifle Association.
Shawn: Gus, don't be a Traveling Wilbury.
The Traveling Wilburys was a musical group composed of Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison, and Tom Petty. The group started in 1988 and released two studio albums.
Shawn: (indicating an old white car) Look, Christine's here.
Gus: Will you stop it, Shawn?
Shawn: Relax, it's not even the right color.
This is a reference to the Stephen King novel Christine. The book is about Arnie Cunningham, a shy nerd who becomes obsessed with restoring a 1958 red and white Plymouth Fury named Christine. Christine is actually evil and begins to murder the townspeople.
(Shawn draws a stick figure next to Cincinnati on the board)
Gus: And who's that up there?
Shawn: It's Austin Kearns. Would you pay attention?
Austin Kearns is a Major League Baseball player who played for the Cincinnati Reds from 2002 until 2006.
Shawn: My name is Shawn Spencer. I'm working with Sophie and the museum. (indicating Gus) This is my partner Patty Simcox.
Patty Simcox is the peppy, obnoxious head cheerleader at Rydell High School from the musical Grease.
Shawn: (to Wyles) You're the one that got into the Snuffleupagus wrapped in just enough tea-stained linen to look like a mummy through the cracked lid.
Snuffleupagus is a mammoth-like character from the children's television show Sesame Street. The word that Shawn meant to use was "sarcophagus," which is another word for a coffin.