As a child, 10-year-old Olive, a burgeoning jockey, asked her parents for an Arabian stallion. They couldn't get her one, so she decided to dig her way through the earth to Arabia and get one. As she dug, she found a Triceratops fossil and sold it to an Arabian emir in return for a stallion...Read the full recap
Narrator: Digging to Arabia would be easy. Head to the center of the earth, then turn right.
Ned: My not-scowl is an expression of not understanding why anyone would want to go rooting around in their past. After all that shoveling you still wake up in the same bed, do the same job, live the same life. Except now you're grimy. With a kink in your back.
(Olive hiring Emerson)
Emerson: What got thee to a nunnery?
Olive: Oh, Emerson. You really want to know?
Emerson: Not especially. That was just my attempt at polite wee talk. Moment's passed, so let's talk compensation.
Narrator: What she didn't know was a world-weary detective with a missing daughter needed all the prayers he could get.
Olive: Why'd you bring him here when you said you wouldn't?
Emerson: I need Pie-Boy's special skill set and Pie-Girl comes with Pie-Boy.
Olive: Why isn't Pie-Girl minding the Pie-Hole?
Emerson: Because she's rather be minding his. Besides, he hired a new waitress. Brandy. Candy. I don't know. Somebody named after booze or food...
Father Ed: We had assumed you'd be Italian.
Emerson: We are... Italian.
Ned: Nun on the run! Nun on the run! Nun on the run!
Olive: There are Commandments! We follow all ten, and I am commanding you to stop!
Chuck: If Mother Superior found Larue’s shiny stash…
Ned: Then all it would take was one push, and the convent would be back… in black.
Chuck: By-proxy high-five.
Emerson: Get, before I by-proxy vomit.
Chuck: I don't really dwell on it. But unexpectedly I'll think of her... and then more specifically this hole in my heart where a mother should be. I didn't know her and I never will.
Emerson: Rule Number One: don’t buy fish on Monday. Rule Number Two: Don’t poke an angry German.
Narrator: Charlotte Charles knew a great deal about removing tarnish, for she had spent countless hours polishing her aunts' stockpile of copper, brass, and bronze cheese knives.
Emerson: Father Dowling, Vatican police. And, um, these are my associates, Father Mulcahy and Sister Christian.
Father Dowling is a reference to the television series Father Dowling Mysteries. The show aired on the NBC television network for its first season, January-March 1989, and then moved to the ABC television network for its final two season. A two-hour pilot movie was aired on November 1st, 1987.
Father Mulcahy is a reference to the character Father John Patrick "Dago Red" Mulcahy from the film and television series M.A.S.H. He was portrayed by Rene Auberjonois in the film, by George Morgan in the pilot episode of the television series, and finally by William Christopher for the remainder of the series.
Ned: We're in the back of restaurant kitchen. He must be the chef.
Emerson: Or Leatherface.
This is a reference to the character Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series of films. The character of Leatherface is an inbred killing machine, who wears a mask made of human skin, and wields a chainsaw. He is reportedly based on Ed Gein, who would create various items out of human skin, a mask being one of them. Leatherface made his cinematic debut in the 1974 original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, being portrayed by Gunnar Hansen. There have so far been 6 films in the series.
Emerson: Rule number 1, don't buy fish on Monday.
This is a reference to the industry-wide restaurant practice of buying the weekends supply of fish on fridays. The fish sold in restaurants on mondays is oftentimes the unfresh, left-over fish from the weekend.