Al: Other kids, they went into boxing or they studied or they stole, I thought I’d give the theatre a try.
Sam: She used to be my piano teacher.
Al: She can tickle my ivories any time.
Al: This is Syracuse. This is way, way, way, way, way off Broadway. For Syracuse, you can sing!
John: (drunkenly singing) This is my quest, to get to the bar. No matter how crowded. No matter how far.
John: One cannot have misadventures on wine spritzers.
Sam: Don't you think you've had enough?
John: Dear boy, one can never have enough.
Sam: (as Don Quixote) I have already seen thee in my heart.
Nicole: (as Dulcinea) Your heart doesn't know much about women.
Sam: (as Don Quixote) It knows all, my lady. They are the soul of man, the radiance that lights his way. A woman is...glory.
Al: Gee, that's pretty good acting, Sam. I'm impressed. That is, if you're really acting...
Nicole: (as Dulcinea) What do you want of me?
Al: What do you want of her?
Sam: (as Don Quixote) Nothing.
Nicole: (as Dulcinea) Liar!
Al: I'm with her.
Al: I've seen that look before, Sam.
Sam: What look?
Al: That last-night-the-earth-moved look.
Al: You’re out of control, Sam
Sam: In case you haven’t noticed, Al, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in control
Al:You know what I mean! You can’t tell anyone who you really are; you can’t change your personal history, you can’t...
Sam: I can’t have a life! All I do is live someone else’s life, right their wrongs, fight their fights…Jeez, I feel like I’m Don Quixote!
Al: He loved pure and chaste from afar... well, that part was never big with me either.
Sam: I am not saving that arrogant ass.
Al: Women, you just can’t trust them. They don’t understand the double standard.
Al: Are you going to be alright?
Sam: (parodying the Man of La Mancha) What matter wounds to the body of a knight-errant? For each time he falls, he shall rise again and woe to the wicked! Al?
Al: Here, Your Grace.
Sam: My armour, my sword.
Al: More misadventures?
Sam: Adventures, old friend.