Drunken partygoer: Wild Thing...you throw the greatest parties of any fraternity! (throws up) Excuse me.

Al: Well, he's an art major. Some kind of a sculptor.
Sam: Probably works in beer cans.

Duck: You know man, you're like glass. I see right through you.

Sam: I am the great Tau-Waii Kappa-Lua Beta-Hiti, God of the Luau. Let no man refuse my hospitality tonight, lest he shall be forced to suffer through the death of the 1000 limbos.
Al: Bimbos.
Sam: Bimbos. Therefore, my children, go. Eat with your fingers. Drink with your toes. Dance with your lips until the dawn smiles down upon your warm, unconscious bodies. I am Tau-Waii the great Kappa-Lua Beta-Hiti, God of the Luau and I leave you with this message, T-K-B is the life for me!

Guna: Now, there's a taco I'd really like to sink my teeth into...if she weren't such a dip!

Sam: I guess I don't know how to have fun, if that's what fun is.
Al: Sure you do. Look, nobody has fun all the time...not even me.
Sam: Well, there's a newsflash.

Guna: There's a bomb in the chemistry building. That's right. There's a bomb in the chemistry building. Not a blonde, a bomb. Geez, these guys can't even get a prank right!

Sam: Al? Did I do this stuff when I was in college?
Al: You were only sixteen when you were in college, you were a mega nerd...

Al: Sam, if you want to leap...you have to leap...