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Season 1 | | | |
| 2 :01x02 - Quintagious (Jun/23/2004) | | Bob needs to prepare for a big job presentation, so when Penny catches the flu, he locks her up in the basement, and other family members soon follow. Meanwhile Parker is looking for somebody to double date with his girlfriend and her friend, and Patton quickly convinces Parker to take him, but his luck quickly shifts when Parker also gets sick. | Director: Andy Cadiff Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays | | Songs: The Donnas -- Dancing With Myself | | | | | | | | | |
| 5 :01x05 - (Disdainfully) The Helbergs (Jul/14/2004) | | The family needs a new car after the old one breaks down. Bob arranges for an audition for a car commercial. If they get it, the car is theirs, but they have to beat the Helbergs, the Chases' ultimate rival since they both have quintuplets. | | Guest Stars: Tembi Locke as Jill, Dan Butler (1) as Francis Helberg, | Co-Guest Stars: Odette Yustman as Kelly Helberg, Michael Nardelle as Stradivarious Helberg, Tyler Jenson as Becky Helberg, Ashley Hartman as Tiffany Helberg, Brendan Miller (2) as Chad Helberg, Adam Grimes as Tyler | Director: Andy Cadiff Writer: Jennifer Fisher (1) | | | |
| 6 :01x06 - Get a Job (Jul/21/2004) | | Bob and Carol celebrate the quints half birthday. They are now old enough to work in the state of New Jersey, so they are forcing them to take jobs. Parker gets a job at a burger place, Pearce at a pet store, Paige and Patton at a shoe store, and Penny at a book store, but gets fired. Meanwhile Bob and Carol have big plans for the money they will save not paying their allowance. | | Guest Stars: Billy Gardell as Brad, Simon Helberg as Neil, | Co-Guest Stars: Jaime Michaels (1) as Beth, Jacqueline Lord as Amy, Robin Krieger (1) as Claudia, Canadace Kita (1) as Alison, Charity Nicole James (2) as Mary Ann, Laurie Boloven as Linda, Shania Accius as Jordana, Angelica Bridges as Lynn | Director: Steve Zuckerman Writer: Michael Borkow | | | |
| 7 :01x07 - Swing, Swing, Swing (Jul/28/2004) | | When the quints decide to go to the homecoming dance, Paige declares she’s going to be homecoming queen, Penny loses her date to Pearce, Patton takes a porn star and Parker is bullied into taking the toughest girl in school. | | Guest Stars: Danica Stewart as Carrie, Ja Née Nisonger as Brittany, Yvonne Arias as Zelda, Craig Gellis as Gino, Christina Cindrich as Catherine Zeta Juggs, Brooke Lewis as Gina, Adam Grimes as Tyler, Robert Hoffman (1) as Matt | Director: Steve Zuckerman Writer: Stephen Lloyd (1) | | | |
| 8 :01x08 - Shakespeare in Lust (Aug/04/2004) | | When Penny is chosen to direct "Romeo and Juliet," the school play, all the quints sign on to help out. Patton lands the role of Romeo and has to kiss Parker's girlfriend, Paige becomes the prop master and Pearce hijacks Penny's play. Meanwhile, Bob and Carol wrangle an invitation to dinner at their neighbors' house. | | Guest Stars: Aaron Pinkston as Crazy Pete, Robert Hoffman (1) as Matt, Heidi Marnhout as Lynn, Danica Stewart as Carrie, Jacqueline Lord as Amy, Billy Gardell as Brad, Harriet Sansom Harris as Ms. Hentschel | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | | | | |
| 10 :01x10 - Love, Lies and Lullabies (Sep/15/2004) | | With a science project looming, Pearce and Parker are both working on it with the beautiful Alayna, which is bound to be explosive, while Paige is the subject of Penny's science project but doesn't even know it. Meanwhile, an extremely hot girl grows fond of Patton, but no one can figure out why until her fetish is revealed. | | Guest Stars: Todd Bosley as Science Fair Geek, Adrianne Palicki as Jessica Gregier, Alice Greczyn as Alanya Collins | | | |
| 11 :01x11 - Quint Con (Sep/22/2004) | | When the Chases attend the annual multiples convention, Patton pretends to be an identical twin to get a date, while Penny and Paige meet up with identical twin boys. Meanwhile, Carol and Bob become mentors to another quint family. | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | | | | |
| 13 :01x13 - Working It (Oct/06/2004) | | Bob wants to get a big sale from a client with a 10-year-old son, so he gets Patton to pretend to be 10 so that he can be the boy's playmate - but Patton develops a crush on their babysitter. Meanwhile, Parker and Pearce decide to split a date with Alayna without her knowledge, and when Penny takes a waitress job at the restaurant where Paige works, Paige has to train her. | | Guest Stars: John O'Hurley as Buck Reynolds, Alice Greczyn as Alayna Colins, Ashleigh Ann Wood as Spencer, Michael Anderson Brown (1) as Spotter | | | |
| 14 :01x14 - Boobs On The Run (Nov/03/2004) | | When the boys decide to crash a frat party, they meet Luskin, a frat boy in search of breasts in all shapes and sizes. Luskin convinces them to go on an ice run, which quickly turns into a wild trip to Canada. Meanwhile, Carol, Bob and the girls experiment with honesty, only to realize that sometimes it's better not to know. | | Guest Stars: Michelle Pierce as Jen, Gina Huraizumi as Anna, Sam Horrigan as Luskin, Nate Torrence as Pizza Guy | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 18 :01x18 - Bob and Carol Save Christmas (Dec/15/2004) | | Christmas is disrupted in the Chase household when the kids decide they want to break with tradition and get real Christmas gifts, not pictures of what they would like to get. Carol and Bob decide to take the matter into their own hands and head to Atlantic City to win big and hopefully show up with lots of gifts. Meanwhile, Patton and Parker get parts in the live nativity scene and vie for Mary's affections. | | Guest Stars: Mark Holton as Santa, Rachel Style as Kelsiel, Alicia Ziegler as Julia | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | | | | | | | |
| 21 :01x21 - Chutes and Letters (Jan/05/2005) | | When Carol's cantankerous great aunt Sylvia meets an untimely death down a garbage chute, Carol worries that Bob has replaced her in the children's affections. Meanwhile, Parker and Patton persuade Pearce to take his relationship with Alayna to the next level and Patton gets stung by love when he decides to con the nerds at school. | | Guest Stars: Krista Kalmus as Pretty Girl, Kevin Christy as Gilbert, Lacey Beeman as Bailey, Phyllis Diller as Great Aunt Sylvia, Alice Greczyn as Alayna Collins | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | |
| 22 :01x22 - The Coconut Kapow (Jan/12/2005) | | When Carol and Bob push Patton into joining the wrestling team, Patton thinks he's finally found a new hobby that doesn't involve girls - until he has to wrestle one. Meanwhile, Parker and Penny decide to take the car out for a joyride and Paige cleans out the closet. | | Guest Stars: Iyari Limon as Wendy, Vanessa Hudgens as Carmen, Sarah Campbell (1) as Jill | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | |
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