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1 :01x01 - Pilot
Writer: Mark Reisman
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Tiffany Thornton (Stacy), Ashlee Turner (Brooke), Greg Benson (Dr. Donald), Amanda Swisten (Joella), Robert Torti (Jake), Richard Keith (Roger), Rachel Miller (Quint Baby), Alyssa Miller (Quint Baby), Madison Miller (Quint Baby)
Bob and Carol feel they aren't spending enough time with each other and decide to attend a Bruce Springsteen concert. The quintuplets take this opportunity to throw a party.
2 :01x02 - Quintagious
Bob needs to prepare for a big job presentation, so when Penny catches the flu, he locks her up in the basement, and other family members soon follow. Meanwhile Parker is looking for somebody to double date with his girlfriend and her friend, and Patton quickly convinces Parker to take him, but his luck quickly shifts when Parker also gets sick.
3 :01x03 - Little Man on Campus
Writer: Dan Signer
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Lise Simms (Coach Allison), Richard Keith (Roger), Jenna Dewan (Haley), Bob Rumnock (Janitor), DeVaughn Nixon (Player #1)
Bob is excited that Parker is trying out for the basketball team because he wants him to get a scholarship, so he won't have to pay for college. Patton also wanted to try out for basketball, but when that fails, he finds his other calling: cheerleading. Meanwhile Peggy and her boyfriend Roger are teaching Paige how to be mean.
4 :01x04 - Lord of the Cell
Bob won a cellphone in a sales competition at work. All the quints want it, so Bob decides to start a contest: whoever does the most chores by the end of the week gets it.
5 :01x05 - (Disdainfully) The Helbergs
Writer: Jennifer Fisher
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Tembi Locke (Jill), Dan Butler (Francis Helberg), Odette Yustman (Kelly Helberg), Michael Nardelli (Stradivarious Helberg), Tyler Jenson (Becky Helberg), Ashley Hartman (Tiffany Helberg), Brendan Miller (Chad Helberg), Adam Grimes (Tyler)
The family needs a new car after the old one breaks down. Bob arranges for an audition for a car commercial. If they get it, the car is theirs, but they have to beat the Helbergs, the Chases' ultimate rival since they both have quintuplets.
6 :01x06 - Get a Job
Writer: Michael Borkow
Director: Steve Zuckerman
Guest star: Billy Gardell (Brad), Simon Helberg (Neil), Jaime Michaels (Beth), Jacqueline Lord (Amy), Robin Krieger (Claudia), Candace Kita (Alison), Charity Nicole James (Mary Ann), Laurie Boloven (Linda), Shania Accius (Jordana), Angelica Bridges (Lynn)
Bob and Carol celebrate the quints half birthday. They are now old enough to work in the state of New Jersey, so they are forcing them to take jobs. Parker gets a job at a burger place, Pearce at a pet store, Paige and Patton at a shoe store, and Penny at a book store, but gets fired. Meanwhile Bob and Carol have big plans for the money they will save not paying their allowance.
7 :01x07 - Swing, Swing, Swing
Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Steve Zuckerman
Guest star: Danica Stewart (Carrie), Ja Née Nisonger (Brittany), Yvonne Arias (Zelda), Craig Gellis (Gino), Christina Cindrich (Catherine Zeta Juggs), Brooke Lewis (Gina), Adam Grimes (Tyler), Robert Hoffman (Matt)
When the quints decide to go to the homecoming dance, Paige declares she’s going to be homecoming queen, Penny loses her date to Pearce, Patton takes a porn star and Parker is bullied into taking the toughest girl in school.
8 :01x08 - Shakespeare in Lust
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Aaron Pinkston (Crazy Pete), Robert Hoffman (Matt), Heidi Marnhout (Lynn), Danica Stewart (Carrie), Jacqueline Lord (Amy), Billy Gardell (Brad), Harriet Sansom Harris (Ms. Hentschel)
When Penny is chosen to direct "Romeo and Juliet," the school play, all the quints sign on to help out. Patton lands the role of Romeo and has to kiss Parker's girlfriend, Paige becomes the prop master and Pearce hijacks Penny's play. Meanwhile, Bob and Carol wrangle an invitation to dinner at their neighbors' house.
9 :01x09 - The Sixth Quint
Writer: Jim Bernstein, Michael Shipley
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Jennifer Alden (Christy), Kaylee Defer (Stephanie), Richard Keith (Roger), Alice Greczyn (Alayna Collins)
When longtime friend Alayna returns from Africa and visits the quints, Paige decides to celebrate with a slumber party. Alayna's return stirs Parker's feelings for her and Alayna admits to having feelings for Pearce. Meanwhile, Patton tries to spy on the slumber party and Bob and Carol try to get in some time alone.
10 :01x10 - Love, Lies and Lullabies
Guest star: Alice Greczyn (Alanya Collins), Adrianne Palicki (Jessica Gregier), Todd Bosley (Science Fair Geek)
With a science project looming, Pearce and Parker are both working on it with the beautiful Alayna, which is bound to be explosive, while Paige is the subject of Penny's science project but doesn't even know it. Meanwhile, an extremely hot girl grows fond of Patton, but no one can figure out why until her fetish is revealed.
11 :01x11 - Quint Con
Writer: Dan Signer
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Kelly Cohen (Nancy), Ashley Cohen (Andrea), Melanie Deanne Moore (Lisa), Brian Howe (Paul), Lane Carlson (Ian), Kyle Carlson (Adam)
When the Chases attend the annual multiples convention, Patton pretends to be an identical twin to get a date, while Penny and Paige meet up with identical twin boys. Meanwhile, Carol and Bob become mentors to another quint family.
12 :01x12 - Battle of the Bands
Guest star: Mark Cirillo (Lawrence), Todd Bosley (Eric), Peter A. Simon (Lars), Jennifer Alden (Christy), Kaylee Defer (Stephanie), Len Lesser (Morty)
When Bob worms his way into Parker's rock band, they are offered the opportunity to play in the school's battle of the bands.
13 :01x13 - Working It
Guest star: John O'Hurley (Buck Reynolds), Alice Greczyn (Alayna Colins), Ashleigh Ann Wood (Spencer), Michael Anderson Brown (Spotter)
Bob wants to get a big sale from a client with a 10-year-old son, so he gets Patton to pretend to be 10 so that he can be the boy's playmate - but Patton develops a crush on their babysitter. Meanwhile, Parker and Pearce decide to split a date with Alayna without her knowledge, and when Penny takes a waitress job at the restaurant where Paige works, Paige has to train her.
14 :01x14 - Boobs On The Run
Guest star: Michelle Pierce (Jen), Gina Huraizumi (Anna), Sam Horrigan (Luskin), Nate Torrence (Pizza Guy)
When the boys decide to crash a frat party, they meet Luskin, a frat boy in search of breasts in all shapes and sizes. Luskin convinces them to go on an ice run, which quickly turns into a wild trip to Canada. Meanwhile, Carol, Bob and the girls experiment with honesty, only to realize that sometimes it's better not to know.
15 :01x15 - Teacher's Pet
Writer: Gloria Calderon Kellett
Director: Leonard R. Garner, Jr.
Guest star: Francesca P. Roberts (Principal Wilcox), Kristin Bauer (Ms. Kilcoyne), Patrick Fabian (Coach), Tara Reid (Ms. Foley)
When Patton and Coach Scales vie for Ms. Foley's attention, Parker feels the brunt of their rivalry. Meanwhile, Bob decides to tutor Pearce and winds up writing an English paper.
16 :01x16 - Thanksgiving Day Charade
Writer: Jamie McLaughlin, Boyce Bugliari
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Beatrice Rosen (Gabriel), Elaine Hendrix (Lisa), Amanda Beard (Herself), Jason Priestley (Steve Chase)
When Bob's slick sports agent-brother Steve pays the family a visit on Thanksgiving, he drags Bob out to a nightclub in hopes of signing a new client - Amanda Beard. Meanwhile, Carol is left to entertain her college roommate, whom she desperately wants to impress, Paige has trouble giving up some of her old clothes and Patton tries to spread some holiday cheer to a foreign exchange student.
17 :01x17 - Date Night
Writer: Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Trevor Neubauer (Waiter), Davida Williams (Eliza), Travis Van Winkle (Hugo), Renee Foresman (Hostess), Samm Levine (Hugo), Sara Paxton (Chelsea)
When Bob and Carol crash Parker's date, Carol becomes best friends with Parker's girlfriend, which makes Parker very uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Penny convinces Paige that she's dating a guy because of his money and Patton and Pearce double-date with a girl and her dog.
18 :01x18 - Bob and Carol Save Christmas
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Mark Holton (Santa), Rachel Style (Kelsiel), Alicia Ziegler (Julia)
Christmas is disrupted in the Chase household when the kids decide they want to break with tradition and get real Christmas gifts, not pictures of what they would like to get. Carol and Bob decide to take the matter into their own hands and head to Atlantic City to win big and hopefully show up with lots of gifts. Meanwhile, Patton and Parker get parts in the live nativity scene and vie for Mary's affections.
19 :01x19 - Where Are They Now?
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Angela Little (Denise), Kristin Bauer (Ms. Kilcoyne), Jillian Barberie (Heather Daniels), Alice Greczyn (Alayna Collins)
Chaos ensues when a camera crew invades the Chase household for a television special and on-air anchor Heather Daniels must find out how and if the Chases have changed since her last visit. Meanwhile, Pearce decides to finally tell Alayna how he feels about her.
20 :01x20 - Shall We Fight
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Sandra Purpuro (Sophia), Audrey Baranishyn (Waitress), Sarah Chang (The Manicurist), Nicole Paggi (Julie), Daniel Kountz (Brady), Robert Hoffman (Matt), Alice Greczyn (Alayna Collins)
When Paige convinces Alayna to spend some time apart from Pearce, Pearce finds the separation extremely difficult and asks Parker to watch over him to keep him from being a stalker boyfriend. Meanwhile, Patton and Penny attempt double-dating and Carol convinces Bob to take dance lessons.
21 :01x21 - Chutes and Letters
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Krista Kalmus (Pretty Girl), Kevin Christy (Gilbert), Lacey Beeman (Bailey), Phyllis Diller (Great Aunt Sylvia), Alice Greczyn (Alayna Collins)
When Carol's cantankerous great aunt Sylvia meets an untimely death down a garbage chute, Carol worries that Bob has replaced her in the children's affections. Meanwhile, Parker and Patton persuade Pearce to take his relationship with Alayna to the next level and Patton gets stung by love when he decides to con the nerds at school.
22 :01x22 - The Coconut Kapow
Director: Andy Cadiff
Guest star: Iyari Limon (Wendy), Vanessa Hudgens (Carmen), Sarah Campbell (Jill)
When Carol and Bob push Patton into joining the wrestling team, Patton thinks he's finally found a new hobby that doesn't involve girls - until he has to wrestle one. Meanwhile, Parker and Penny decide to take the car out for a joyride and Paige cleans out the closet.