The scene opens with Shelly singing to the dogs about not barking when the doorbell rings and Virginia comes over and drops off Hope. Shelly got her dead tooth fixed and Virginia sees that Hope is acting like one of the dogs. Later that evening, Virginia tells Jimmy that Hope is acting like a dog and Jimmy doesn’t believe it until the doorbell rings and Hope barks. They think it was a hiccup until she does it again. Maw-Maw is at the door asking what the doorbell does. Virginia comes over and gives Jimmy a brochure from a preschool she got from one of the ladies she cleans house for. He looks at it and sees that they give scholarships. He looks closer and sees that it is only for poor people. Virginia tells that they are poor and the entire time, Burt has been sucking the air out of water bottles. He gets up and then passes out from being lightheaded.
Jimmy, Virginia, and Burt go to the preschool and meet with the other parents. They look at the pictures of Presidents on the wall and Burt gets them confused as people who went to the preschool. They sit down and Virginia tells that they are the poorest there. The owner comes out and tells that they only have enough grant money to cover one child. One parent tells that she read on the internet that there is a Sexual Predator living in the neighborhood. He tells her that they kicked him out and that he now lives by the bad mall. Jimmy tells that they live by the bad mall. The lady tells that they can look for the blue dot for the sexual predator. Later they look on the internet at home and find out that the sexual predator is Burt. Jimmy starts to freak out and Virginia tells that she was the girl who he was arrested for because she was 15 and Burt was 17. They start to kiss and get “busy” on the desk and Jimmy tells that they have to do something about it before they turn in the application.
They go see Wally Phipps, an attorney, and he tells that Burt has to go to all of his neighbors and tell that he is a sex offender. Burt does it and gets one lady who runs at him with a staple gun. Jimmy is at work and Sabrina comes over and tells that he is going to have to lie on the application and not to use exclamation points all the time. He tells that he is not going to lie. At the courts, Burt, Maw-Maw, Virginia and Jimmy go with Wally and they get Burt’s record clean. Suddenly children run away and Maw-Maw gets arrested for showing her boobs to them. The blue dot goes back on their house. They are back in Wally’s office and he tells that Maw-Maw has to do 12 hours community service. He tells that someone else can do the service in her stead.
Jimmy and Virginia get up early to allow Virginia to do the community service and Burt comes in and starts eating. Virginia tells that he sleep eats. Jimmy wonders why he is not 300 pounds. Virginia tells that he sleep exercises too. They go to a gas station so Virginia can go to the bathroom. She has to buy something and Jimmy gives her some, but it is not enough. Losing her patience, Virginia grabs the cup that had her coffee in it and goes around to pee. She is arrested for indecent exposure and another dot is on their house. Jimmy runs up to a woman by a payphone and tells that he will pay her money to be his great grandmother and it is going to be dirty. He is arrested for solicitation of a prostitute and his mom tells him that she was wearing a wire. The scene shows the pictures of Maw-Maw, Virginia and Jimmy now. Back at home, Jimmy tells Hope that he is going to lie on the application. He sees that she has a meat bone and Burt comes in and tells that she fetched his slippers so he had to give her something. Jimmy tries to take it away and Hope growls.
Jimmy gets to the preschool and the owner comes out and tells that they have a winner of the scholarship. He goes through all the stories on how people had to come to the country on a inner tube and a stick and another family who is functional mute. Jimmy feels bad for lying and comes clean after he lied and won the scholarship for saying that he served in Iraq and gave up on of his kidneys. The owner tells that it was a brave thing to do and then the other parents come clean of their lies too. There are no winners and Jimmy tells them all of Shelly’s daycare and it is packed now. Shelly and the rest of the parents sing the welcome song.