Episode Quotes
Ben: So I went to the mall alone...
Sock: Sure.
Ben: ...to buy a couple of pairs of pants.
Sock: I'm sorry. You bought a couple of pairs of pants? Since when do you need more than one pair of pants? What are you, Jude Law?
Sam: You are a terrible person, seriously.
The Devil: That's my job, man. You know, tempting the weak. Culling the herd. you know the drill.
The Devil: Okay, now clear out of here. I've got a sexaholics group coming in in 5. It tends to be a little messy.
Sock: Yeah, Nina, nice. I like a girl who eats like a trucker.
Nina: Thank you, Sock.
Ben: It is warm, literally. It's hot in my hands.
Nina: That's because it's from home.
Ben: Home.
Nina: Um-hmm.
Ben: Home. Down there home.
Nina: Yeah.
Ben: Hell home.
Nina: Yeah. It might have a little bit of hellfire left in it. But don't worry, it's perfectly safe. Just don't ever sleep next to it, it'll give you nightmares. And don't ever make wishes on it. And then just use a regular damp cloth to clean it.
Ben: You're not dating me to kill Sam, are you?
Nina: No. Besides, I don't need a knife to kill Sam.
Ben: What's that mean?
Nina: I just use these guys. I like to get up in there and feel the heart beating before I squish it with my hands.
Ben: You see, that doesn't make me feel better.
Sock: Boxing requires focus. You know what it's like? It's like having sex. All right, everything's going good, right/ You're getting your groove on, chugging along. In comes the talking, the hints, the tips, the criticizing. The next thing you know, you've lost that concentration, you're locked in the bathroom yelling at your own lap!
Andi: I'll talk to him. I have to be the adult.
Sam: Uhh, that's, no, that's definitely a terrible idea.
Andi: Why?
Sam: Because you can't deal with Sock as an adult. You have to sink to his level. You have to sink below his level.
Andi: Uhh, I'm not sure that's even possible.
The Devil: Sammy, punishing souls is like raising children. They need consistency. And you can't reward bad behavior. They step out of line, you just have to give them a timeout in the Closet of Abysmal Agony.