Sock: Mr. Oliver, I'm really glad you're alive and everything, but I just about had a heart attack. I think I might still be having one.

Ben: Take me and Nina.
Sock: Nope.
Ben: We're friends, but we have our sexual side.
Sock: Yeah.
Ben: But then we keep it it in a box and take it out when we need it. We enjoy it. We play with it. Then we put it back in the box when we're all done.
Sock: There is no box that contain this sexuality, Ben. All right. Uncontainable. That's how I was born. In fact, the delivery room doctor said I was the sexiest baby she'd ever seen.

(riding a lawn mower)
The Devil: These things are great. Bumper cars with deadly sharp blades.

The Devil: Here's the vessel for your next soul, Tracy Reed. Thought she was a vampire when she was alive.
Sam: Seriously, she was a vampire?
The Devil: Well. you do know that vampires don't really exist, don't you, Sam?

Gladys: Oh, an IBOH.
Sock: What's an IBOH.
Gladys: Intentional Birth Out of Hell. It happens. Souls have been known to escape from Hell to have their children here. Better schools.

Sam: No, no, no, we can't raise a baby.
Gladys: Any idiot can raise a baby, which makes you more than qualified.

Gladys: Why don't you just ask your little girlfriend for some help? She dates you, she must know a lot about babies.

Tony: Plus, I came to warn you, I think they're dispatching some demon assassins to kill you.
Sock: Oh, we know. Ben's dating one of them.
Ben: Yeah, we're a power couple.

(staring at his sexy half-sister)
Sock: Just taking the dog out for one last walk.
Ben: That's gross.

The Devil: Hey, you can’t just come bursting into people’s offices. I might have been naked in here.

The Devil: I want souls, Sammy. That's my deal.
Sam: But imagine how many more souls she could deliver to you. How many people will she hurt? Boyfriends, friends, people she could mess up who will probably turn evil themselves, right? You could have one soul, or dozens. You don't even know what she'll be when she grows up. What if she's a teacher? What if she's a psychiatrist? Think how many people she could damage like that.
The Devil: (to the baby) Hey, maybe you'll become a politician. Even president.