Episode Info
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Episode number: 1x1 Production Number: 1x1 Airdate: Monday February 15th, 1988 |
Recap
Aboard the Jupiter mining ship Red Dwarf, crewmen Dave Lister is conducting ship's repairs under the supervision of Senior Technician Arnold J. Rimmer. Dave keeps making annoying noises until Rimmer orders him to stop, and then Dave refuses to talk and Rimmer writes him up. He insists that they're conducting vital routine maintenance as they unclog the chicken soup dispenser nozzle. Once Rimmer finishes clearing the nozzle, they move onto the botanical gardens and Rimmer insists that he'll soon be promoted. Dave points out that he has to pass his engineering exam and panicked the last time, saying he was a fish. He lights up a cigarette and Rimmer puts him on report...Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Rimmer: Right, that's it! "Lister, D -- third technician. Offense: obstructing a superior technician by humming, clicking and being quiet." When the captain sees this, you're dead.
Dave: Not until you pass your engineer's exam. And you won't do that because you'll just go in there and flunk again.
Rimmer: Lister, last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.
Dave: You what? You walked in there, wrote, "I am a fish" four hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted.
Rimmer: Lister, last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.
Dave: You what? You walked in there, wrote, "I am a fish" four hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted.
Rimmer: Is that a cigarette you're smoking, Lister?
Dave: No, it's a chicken.
Dave: No, it's a chicken.
Dave: You see, I try, sir. I'm not an insubordinate man by nature. I try and respect Rimmer and everything, but it's not easy, 'cause he's such a smeghead.
Rimmer: Did you hear that, sir? Lister, do you have any conception of the penalty for describing a superior technician as a smeghead?
Todhunter: Oh, Rimmer... you are a smeghead!
Rimmer: Did you hear that, sir? Lister, do you have any conception of the penalty for describing a superior technician as a smeghead?
Todhunter: Oh, Rimmer... you are a smeghead!
Rimmer: You touch that guitar, Lister, I'll remove the E string and garrotte you with it.
Rimmer: What are you going to do? Breed sheep and dolphins and invent wet-look knitwear?
Dave: Where is everybody, Hol?
Holly: They're dead, Dave.
Dave: Who is?
Holly: Everybody, Dave.
Dave: What, Captain Hollister?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: What, Todhunter?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: What, Selby?
Holly: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: Peterson isn't, is he?
Holly: Everybody is dead, Dave.
Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead, Dave. Everybody is dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
Dave: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
Holly: I should've never let him out in the first place...
Holly: They're dead, Dave.
Dave: Who is?
Holly: Everybody, Dave.
Dave: What, Captain Hollister?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: What, Todhunter?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: What, Selby?
Holly: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: Peterson isn't, is he?
Holly: Everybody is dead, Dave.
Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Dave: Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead, Dave. Everybody is dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
Dave: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
Holly: I should've never let him out in the first place...
Dave: (sampling some powder lying around) And why is it so dirty around here, Hol? What is this stuff?
Holly: That is catering officer Olaf Petersen.
Dave: Aggh! I've been eating half the crew!
Holly: That is catering officer Olaf Petersen.
Dave: Aggh! I've been eating half the crew!
Dave: What's it feel like?
Rimmer: Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans.
Rimmer: Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans.
Rimmer: Being a hologram is fine, Lister. I still have the same drives, the same feelings, the same emotions, but I can't *touch* anything. Never again will I be able to brush a rose against my cheek, cradle a laughing child, or interfere with a woman sexually.
Dave: Rimmer, you never used to do any of those things anyway.
Dave: Rimmer, you never used to do any of those things anyway.
Rimmer: I've got to pull myself together, but you've got to help me. You got to be my hands and my touch.
Dave: I know the things you like to touch. No way Rimmer! Forget it!
Dave: I know the things you like to touch. No way Rimmer! Forget it!
Dave: Holly, plot a course for Fiji. Look out, Earth--the slime's coming home!
Episode Goofs
When Rimmer leaves for his exam, Dave tells the door to close and look.
Something that looks like the edge of an arm hovers into the edge of the viewport in the background in the middle left corner and then moves out of sight.
Something that looks like the edge of an arm hovers into the edge of the viewport in the background in the middle left corner and then moves out of sight.
When Dave goes into the teaching room after emerging from stasis, there are piles of dust on the tables.
When he and Rimmer come back a few minutes later, the dust is gone and a table has disappeared.
When he and Rimmer come back a few minutes later, the dust is gone and a table has disappeared.
Other Episode Crew
| • Creator | Rob Grant (2) | Doug Naylor |
| • Executive Producer | Paul Jackson (2) |
| • Producer | Ed Bye |
| • Music | Howard Goodall |
| • Costume Designer | Jacki Pinks |
| • Production Assistant | Alison Thornber |
| • Production Manager | George R. Clarke |
| • Vision Mixer | Jill Dornan |
| • Sound Supervisor | Tony Worthington |
| • Lighting Director | John Pomphrey |
| • Graphic Designer | Mark Allen |
| • Unit Manager | Mario Dubois |
| • Visual Effects Designer | Peter Wragg |
| • Videotape Editor | Ed Wooden |
| • Designer | Paul Montague |
| • Make-up Designer | Suzanne Jansen (1) |
| • Technical Co-ordinator | Ron Clare |
| • Camera Supervisor | Melvyn Cross |
| • Assistant Floor Manager | Dona Di Stefano |
| • Properties Buyer | Duncan Wheeler |
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