Sheila: I couldn't possibly live up your ass because you've already taken up residence there.
Uncle Teddy: If I don't bust a nut soon, I'm gonna explode.
Cell Mate: I can help you with that, if you want.
Uncle Teddy: Ya know, listen. You're a great guy and I like talking to ya. Ya keep a nice cell, but I'm strictly a real life female pussy type of guy,... uh, no offense.
Tommy: Did they say anything about, um, chlamydia?
Probie: Whadda ya mean, the band?
Sean: It's not a bank you asshole. It's a country.
Lou: It's a venereal disease, monkeys.
Tommy: I think she might have given me the big "C".
Lou: Cancer's the big "C", chlamydia - the little "C".
Lou: You're the only man in the Tri-State area that shares a case of chlamydia with three teenage boys,... non clergy of course.
Sean: Ya see, that kid who lost,... he started crying like a baby.
This is a reference to the Gonzaga basketball player, Adam Morrison, who after loosing in NCAA tournament, sat down on the court and began to sob.