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Royal Pains: A Farewell To Barnes

The steroids that Eric Kassabian was prescribed has sent him into a coma that Hank blames on Van Dyke, but Jill opens an official investigation to ascertain all the facts. HankMed has a party planner for a new patient, and she invites Hank to attend the party just in case she needs him. Evan risks Paige's father's support when he stands up to the man and Divya struggles with guilt over her error.

Episode Info

Episode number: 3x11
Production Number: RP311
Airdate: Wednesday January 18th, 2012


Guest Stars
Wilmer ValderramaWilmer Valderrama
As Eric Kassabian
Brooke DBrooke D'Orsay
As Paige Collins
Bob GuntonBob Gunton
As General William Collins
Kyle HowardKyle Howard
As Dr. Paul Van Dyke
Thomas CavanaghThomas Cavanagh
As Jack O'Malley

Co-Guest Stars
Mo RoccaMo Rocca
As Officiant
Rob BreckinridgeRob Breckinridge
As Sam Resnick
Joe CootsJoe Coots
As Donny
Main Cast
Mark FeuersteinMark Feuerstein
As Hank Lawson
Paulo CostanzoPaulo Costanzo
As Evan Roth Lawson
Jill FlintJill Flint
As Jill Casey
Reshma ShettyReshma Shetty
As Divya Katdare


Hank is working on an unconscious Eric Kassabian after he collapses in his art gallery in a continuation from the last episode. A blood test reveal his glucose level is critically high...

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Episode Notes
Episode viewers (millions): 3.26

Episode Quotes
Jill: What is going on here?
Hank: He gave oral steroids to a diabetic and put the man in a coma!
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: You're insane.
Hank: You're incompetent!

Jill: Listen, Hank. If there is a problem I will find it and I will deal with it, but you cannot come in here accusing our doctors of incompetence, not unless you have any proof.
Hank: Yeah, well I gotta whole bottle.

Lucy: N.U.G. Hank, N.U.G.
Hank: Nug?
Lucy: No Unhappy Guests.

Evan: Not to correct you or anything but, per your request Paige and I we're not going to get engaged until after the campaign.
General William Collins: Yeah you know, I've uh, I've given that some thought. You and Paige make it official whenever you're ready. I give you my blessing.

Jill: Divya, until this investigation is complete, I have to put you on leave, effective immediately.

Evan: Sir, I'm sor... you can't keep doing this to Paige, you can't. She's put her whole life on hold for you sir. You said you're gonna be in Brooklyn on Thursday, you should be there.
General William Collins: Remember that blessing I gave you?
Evan: Yes
General William Collins: Withdrawn!

Evan: So, umm, I kinda have some bad news.
Paige: Okay.
Evan: The General, your father, daddy...
Paige: Don't call him that.
Evan: I shouldn't, you're right, it felt weird coming out. He doesn't approve of me, as much as I'd hoped.
Paige: Why do you say that?
Evan: 'Cause I spoke my mind to him, finally, and he really did not like my mind.
Paige: Hmmm. You know what? That's his problem.
Evan: Excuse me?
Paige: What he thinks of you or doesn't think, what he approves of or doesn't approve of, we don't care anymore.
Evan: We don't?
Paige: No, and I can't wait anymore. (gets down on one knee)
Evan: What...
Paige: Evan R. Lawson? Will you marry me?
Evan: (also gets down on one knee) In a heartbeat, Paige Collins!

Jill: Hank? We gotta break up.
Hank: Excuse me?
Jill: I'm leaving, and I like you. No, that, that doesn't even cover it. Hank I am, crazy about you, okay, and it is making it really hard for me to go.
Hank: Then we gotta break up.
Jill: We do?
Hank: Yeah. I care about you way too much to want to hold you back.

Divya: Without beating a dead horse, I am truly sorry.
Eric Kassabian: Well that horse has been dead for so long that it is now decomposing.
Divya: I have never made a mistake llike that before, and I never will again.
Eric Kassabian: Look you weren't the only one who made a mistake. Ever since I was diagnosed, I've told every health professional I've come into contact with that I was a diabetic. And this time I didn't.
Divya: Mr. Kassabian, this is not your responsibility to bear, this is mine. I have learned from my mistake.
Eric Kassabian: Divya I'm not suing.
Divya: That is not why I said that.
Eric Kassabian: I know. I know. But it's also part of how I reached my decision. It was a mistake, I'm still alive. All is forgiven.
Divya: Thank you. Now I just have to forgive myself.

Divya: I've come to offer my resignation.
Jill: Divya...
Divya: Please don't try to talk me out of it...
Jill: I accept.
Divya: You do?
Jill: Yeah.
Divya: Of course, of course you do.

Divya: Hank, I need to talk to you about something.
Hank: Okay, sure. What's up?
Divya: Dr. Van Dyke didn't administer the wrong medication to Mr. Kassabian. I did. It was my mistake, it was me.

Episode References
Evan: (to the General) Not to correct you or anything but, per your request Paige and I we're not going to get engaged until after the campaign.

In episode 3x06, An Apple A Day, Paige's father asks Evan to wait until the election is over, a tactic Paige says he uses that she calls delay and defeat.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorAndrew Lenchewski  |  John P. Rogers
Executive ProducerRich Frank  |  Michael Rauch  |  Andrew Lenchewski  |  Paul Frank  |  Jeff Kwatinetz
Co-Executive ProducerCarol Flint  |  Kerry Orent  |  Jon Sherman  |  Constance M. Burge
ProducerKathy Ciric  |  Antonia Ellis (1)
Co-ProducerMark Feuerstein  |  Irv Danesh  |  Jessica Ball (2)
Consulting ProducerJack Bernstein
Associate ProducerMargo Johnston  |  Sam Friedlander
Production DesignerRay Kluga
EditorCharles McClelland
CastingSteven Jacobs (2)  |  Bonnie Finnegan
Unit Production ManagerKathy Ciric
First Assistant DirectorRobert C. Albertell
Second Assistant DirectorBrendan Walsh (1)
MusicJames S. Levine
Music EditorLesley Langs
Music SupervisorOliver Hild  |  Alicen Catron Schneider
Costume DesignerCaroline Duncan
Key GripSal Lanza
Camera OperatorMichael Caracciolo  |  Carlos Guerra  |  Oliver Cary
Set DecoratorMila Khalevich
Location ManagerMichael Fucci
Property MasterRuth Dipasquale
Construction CoordinatorRonnie A. Petagna Jr.
Production Sound MixerBrian Miksis
Script SupervisorDeirdre Horgan Aska
Production CoordinatorBrette Billow
Script CoordinatorHelen Berger
Assistant EditorMatthew S. Nickelson  |  Marnee Meyer
Supervising Sound EditorLouis Bertini
Re-Recording MixerBob Chefalas
LeadmanChris Vogt
GafferSteve Ramsey
On-Line EditorPat Kelleher
Director of PhotographyJoseph R. Collins
Story EditorSimran Baidwan
Stunt CoordinatorCort Hessler
Production SupervisorPeter Sabat
Production SecretaryRyan Wilson
Art DirectorKevin Rupnik
Assistant Production CoordinatorJohn Sesumi
ConsultantJohn P. Rogers
Makeup Department Head Francesca Buccellato
Art Department CoordinatorMichael Dicenzo
Visual Effects SupervisorChris Healer
Main Title DesignRandall Balsmeyer  |  J. John Corbett
Production AccountantLynda Van Damm
Transportation CaptainSteven R. Hammond
Casting AssociateCandice Alustiza
Original CastingSusie Farris
ColoristRoger Doran
Assistant To The Executive ProducerWoody Strassner  |  Laurie Ferneau  |  Priscilla Crowe  |  Teresa Ingram  |  Chris Luttrell
Assistant Costume DesignerMegan Kasperlik
Stage ManagerMike O'Neil (1)
Assistant To The Co-executive ProducerCharlie Kessler
Assistant AccountantErnesto Alcalde
Hair Department HeadAnna Hilton
Digital Imaging TechnicianDavid Satin
Post CoordinatorDavid McElfresh
Special Effects Make-upCraig Lindberg
Wardrobe SupervisorDenise Andres
Second 2nd Assistant DirectorJoe Turner (1)
Charge Scenic ArtistJoseph Garzero
Main Title Theme Performed ByThe Blue Van
"A" Camera First AssistantJohn R. MacDonald
Loop Group CoordinatorSondra James
Background CastingGrant Wilfley
"B" Camera First AssistantMalcolm A. Purnell
Transportation Co-captainRich Marino
Background Casting AssociateJoanna Vanadia
Production Office PaJames Best (1)  |  Ryan Edwards
Writers' PACaty Zick
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