Episode Quotes
Hank: Owww!
Evan: You shouldn't be working with your bad back.
Hank: I, I...
Evan: So Henry, if you move any slower, some people are gonna show up and they're gonna start harvesting your organs.
Hank: What can I do to make you go away?
Evan: Just admit that we need to hire a B.U.D.
Hank: A what?
Evan: Back up doc.
Divya: What are you doing here?
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: I am Hank for the day, or two.
Evan: (to Divya and Paul) If you guys are done with awkward social hour, do you mind if we...? While Hank is moving in slow motion, Dr. Van Dyke will be filling in for him for the next few days, here are the schedules, patients with asterisks next to their names are potential retainer clients. Any questions? No? Good! Staff meeting adjourned, in record time!
Evan: Can I just say something? You are the Yin to my Yang. Seriously, you're like the salt to my pepper, you, you're...
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: If you say I complete you, I'm outta here.
Evan: I would never say that, c'mon.
visual: (Paul walks away)
Evan: (quietly) But you do!
Jill: Please tell me that you're not having second thoughts about selling your china.
Divya: I'm not. I just regret that no one in my family ever used it.
Jack O'Malley: (to Hank and Nina) So what you're saying is both have risks so I might as well just flip a coin.
Jack O'Malley: (to Hank) I'm not listing you because you're my doctor, I'm listing you because you're my friend. You already said you were my friend, can't take it back.
Hank: I've been bombarded all day with prescription confirmations and test results, what's going on? And why did Divya send Newberg for an MRI?
Evan: She didn't, Dr. Van Dyke did.
Hank: Dr. Van what?
Hank: (eyeing a syringe) Relief, just 2 milligrams away!
visual: Injects himself with valium.
Hank: One milligram, two milli... (screams in pain)
visual: Eyes the empty syringe.
Hank: Oh, that's not good.
Evan: Hank would never do this.
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: I'm not Hank!
Evan: (mumbles to self) No, you're not.
Jill: Worst apology ever!
Floyd: You're right. Thank you, Divya, thanks for saving my life.
Jill: Better.
Jack O'Malley: Remember when I flipped the coin earlier in Nina's office?
Hank: Uh huh.
Jack O'Malley: Well it didn't matter if it ended up heads or tails, the clinical trial was always gonna win.
Hank: Why is that?
Jack O'Malley: Because, I heard what she said. In my mind it all added up to one perfect thing, a silver bullet, something that would make the lupus disappear and I would be done with it forever. I was going for the hole in one.
Evan: You took the drugs, didn't you?
Hank: No!
Evan: Admitting you took drugs when you were in pain does not make you less of a man, Henry.
Hank: Alright I took the drugs.
Evan: Pfft, you wuss!
Evan: It's not always about the money.
Hank: Who are you and what have you done with my brother?
Evan: (laughs) It's not, it's also about the level of care we've established, uhh, you've established. Doctor Van Dyke, he's a good doctor, but he's... he's not you.