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Royal Pains: My Back To The Future

Hank is sidelined with a bad back and Evan takes the opportunity to hire a B.U.D., a backup doctor he has wanted for some time. Hank spends his time with his friend Jack O'Malley as he starts his treatment for lupus. Divya looks to sell a family heirloom to pay off her debts.

Episode Info

Episode number: 3x13
Airdate: Wednesday February 01st, 2012

Alternate Airdates:



Guest Stars
Christine EbersoleChristine Ebersole
As Ms. Newberg
Brooke DBrooke D'Orsay
As Paige Collins (credit only)
Kyle HowardKyle Howard
As Dr. Paul Van Dyke
Joanna GarciaJoanna Garcia
As Dr. Nina Greene (as Joanna Garcia Swisher)
Thomas CavanaghThomas Cavanagh
As Jack O'Malley
Jake LacyJake Lacy
As Floyd
Peter Francis JamesPeter Francis James
As Mackintosh
Ronald GuttmanRonald Guttman
As Auction House Official

Co-Guest Stars
Michael MulherenMichael Mulheren
As Fisherman Jim (Jim Harper)
Marnie SchulenburgMarnie Schulenburg
As Sherri (Sherrie Tanner)
Tanner FloodTanner Flood
As Simon (Simon Field)
Ken KrugmanKen Krugman
As Rabbi
Daisy TahanDaisy Tahan
As April (credit only)
Main Cast
Mark FeuersteinMark Feuerstein
As Hank Lawson
Paulo CostanzoPaulo Costanzo
As Evan Roth Lawson
Jill FlintJill Flint
As Jill Casey
Reshma ShettyReshma Shetty
As Divya Katdare


The episode opens at a funeral. Divya is singing while Hank, Evan, Jill and Jack O'Malley are seated in the front row. The coffin is lowered into the grave and the rabbi requests those closest to the deceased participate in the ceremony by placing a shovelful of dirt in the grave. Hank goes first.....

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Episode Notes
Evan: Well she drives like a cloud.

Evan referring to his minivan, another subtle in-show commercial for Toyota.

Episode viewers (millions): 4.09

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
APM MusicComing Of Age 1 
Eliza DoolittleMr. Medicine 
Jack DolgenIslandsDivya & Jill chase Floyd by car
Lincoln JaegerCha Cha In Style 
Reshma ShettyAve MariaStart of episode, funeral
Theophilus LondonAll Around the WorldEvan & Van Dyke arrive at Ms. Newbergs
Tracy SpuehlerUnforgettableEvan and Van Dyke doing mole check

Episode Quotes
Hank: Owww!
Evan: You shouldn't be working with your bad back.
Hank: I, I...
Evan: So Henry, if you move any slower, some people are gonna show up and they're gonna start harvesting your organs.

Hank: What can I do to make you go away?
Evan: Just admit that we need to hire a B.U.D.
Hank: A what?
Evan: Back up doc.

Divya: What are you doing here?
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: I am Hank for the day, or two.

Evan: (to Divya and Paul) If you guys are done with awkward social hour, do you mind if we...? While Hank is moving in slow motion, Dr. Van Dyke will be filling in for him for the next few days, here are the schedules, patients with asterisks next to their names are potential retainer clients. Any questions? No? Good! Staff meeting adjourned, in record time!

Evan: Can I just say something? You are the Yin to my Yang. Seriously, you're like the salt to my pepper, you, you're...
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: If you say I complete you, I'm outta here.
Evan: I would never say that, c'mon.
visual: (Paul walks away)
Evan: (quietly) But you do!

Jill: Please tell me that you're not having second thoughts about selling your china.
Divya: I'm not. I just regret that no one in my family ever used it.

Jack O'Malley: (to Hank and Nina) So what you're saying is both have risks so I might as well just flip a coin.

Jack O'Malley: (to Hank) I'm not listing you because you're my doctor, I'm listing you because you're my friend. You already said you were my friend, can't take it back.

Hank: I've been bombarded all day with prescription confirmations and test results, what's going on? And why did Divya send Newberg for an MRI?
Evan: She didn't, Dr. Van Dyke did.
Hank: Dr. Van what?

Hank: (eyeing a syringe) Relief, just 2 milligrams away!
visual: Injects himself with valium.
Hank: One milligram, two milli... (screams in pain)
visual: Eyes the empty syringe.
Hank: Oh, that's not good.

Evan: Hank would never do this.
Dr. Paul Van Dyke: I'm not Hank!
Evan: (mumbles to self) No, you're not.

Jill: Worst apology ever!
Floyd: You're right. Thank you, Divya, thanks for saving my life.
Jill: Better.

Jack O'Malley: Remember when I flipped the coin earlier in Nina's office?
Hank: Uh huh.
Jack O'Malley: Well it didn't matter if it ended up heads or tails, the clinical trial was always gonna win.
Hank: Why is that?
Jack O'Malley: Because, I heard what she said. In my mind it all added up to one perfect thing, a silver bullet, something that would make the lupus disappear and I would be done with it forever. I was going for the hole in one.

Evan: You took the drugs, didn't you?
Hank: No!
Evan: Admitting you took drugs when you were in pain does not make you less of a man, Henry.
Hank: Alright I took the drugs.
Evan: Pfft, you wuss!

Evan: It's not always about the money.
Hank: Who are you and what have you done with my brother?
Evan: (laughs) It's not, it's also about the level of care we've established, uhh, you've established. Doctor Van Dyke, he's a good doctor, but he's... he's not you.

Episode Goofs
In the opening scene, Hank is walking slowly and painfully, unable to straighten his back. He suddenly stops and twists to look at Evan and asks him what it will take to make Evan go away. That sudden movement would have made anyone with a bad back scream in pain, or at least grimace which Hank failed to do.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorJohn P. Rogers  |  Andrew Lenchewski
Executive ProducerAndrew Lenchewski  |  Michael Rauch  |  Rich Frank  |  Paul Frank  |  Jeff Kwatinetz
Co-Executive ProducerCarol Flint  |  Constance M. Burge  |  Jon Sherman  |  Kerry Orent
ProducerKathy Ciric  |  Antonia Ellis (1)
Co-ProducerMark Feuerstein  |  Irv Danesh  |  Jessica Ball (2)
Consulting ProducerJack Bernstein
Associate ProducerMargo Johnston  |  Sam Friedlander
Production DesignerRay Kluga
EditorDaniel Valverde
CastingBonnie Finnegan  |  Steven Jacobs (2)
Unit Production ManagerKathy Ciric
First Assistant DirectorRobert C. Albertell
Second Assistant DirectorBrendan Walsh (1)
MusicJames S. Levine
Music EditorLesley Langs
Music SupervisorAlicen Catron Schneider  |  Oliver Hild
Costume DesignerCaroline Duncan
Key GripSal Lanza
Camera OperatorCarlos Guerra  |  Michael Caracciolo  |  Oliver Cary
Set DecoratorMila Khalevich
Location ManagerMichael Fucci
Property MasterRuth Dipasquale
Construction CoordinatorRonnie A. Petagna Jr.
Production Sound MixerBrian Miksis
Script SupervisorMary A. Kelly
Production CoordinatorBrette Billow
Script CoordinatorHelen Berger
Assistant EditorMatthew S. Nickelson  |  Myles Sorensen
Supervising Sound EditorLouis Bertini
Re-Recording MixerBob Chefalas
LeadmanChris Vogt
GafferSteve Ramsey
On-Line EditorPat Kelleher
Director of PhotographyJoseph R. Collins
Story EditorSimran Baidwan
Stunt CoordinatorCort Hessler
Production SupervisorPeter Sabat
Art DirectorKevin Rupnik
Assistant Production CoordinatorJohn Sesumi
ConsultantJohn P. Rogers
Makeup Department Head Francesca Buccellato
Art Department CoordinatorMichael Dicenzo
Visual Effects SupervisorChris Healer
Main Title DesignJ. John Corbett  |  Randall Balsmeyer
Production AccountantLynda Van Damm
Transportation CaptainSteven R. Hammond
Set DresserTom Gough  |  Robert Vogt  |  Bradley Klipp  |  Daniel K. Grosso
Casting AssociateCandice Alustiza
Original CastingSusie Farris
ColoristRoger Doran
Assistant To The Executive ProducerChris Luttrell  |  Teresa Ingram  |  Laurie Ferneau  |  Woody Strassner  |  Priscilla Crowe
Assistant Costume DesignerJessica Glenn
Assistant To The Co-executive ProducerCharlie Kessler
Assistant AccountantErnesto Alcalde
Hair Department HeadAnna Hilton
Assistant Art DirectorMartin Fahrer
Digital Imaging TechnicianDavid Satin
Post CoordinatorDavid McElfresh
Special Effects Make-upCraig Lindberg
Wardrobe SupervisorShelby Saboy
Assistant Set DecoratorKate Foster (2)
Charge Scenic ArtistJoseph Garzero
Main Title Theme Performed ByThe Blue Van
"A" Camera First AssistantJohn R. MacDonald
Loop Group CoordinatorSondra James
Background CastingGrant Wilfley
"B" Camera First AssistantMalcolm A. Purnell
Transportation Co-captainRich Marino
Background Casting AssociateJoanna Vanadia
Set Decoration PaMegan Day
Art Department PaMichael Damski
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