Boris: This is a pager watch. It operates on a secure frequency. Should I require you for my personal medical needs I'll call your cell phone but the pager, would strictly be for the job at hand.
Hank: And when it beeps?
Boris: When it beeps you would remove the SIM card from your personal cell and proceed directly here to Shadow Pond, you'll make no calls, you'll send no texts or e-mails, your brother will be informed that you'll be... temporarily unavailable. I suggest you prepare him for your possible absence.
Evan: I want to discuss something with you first, it's really really important, okay? (holds up 2 neckties) Striped or solid?
Hank: Why? Why does it matter?
Evan: Because I am about to have the meeting of my life, of my life Henry! I finally get to pitch the services of HankMed at the Blackstone.
visual: Hank chuckles.
Evan: Which tie?
Hank: You always choose the opposite of what I choose. Maybe this time I'll choose the opposite of what I think, so you'll choose the other one.
Evan: Okay don't mess with the system Henry, it works! Which one?
Hank: Fine, the striped.
Evan: So, solid it is.
Evan: Wait a second, did you just pick the tie you want me to wear or the one you don't want me to wear?
Hank: (smiling) Yeah.
Evan: Damn you.
Evan: I'm sorry, I was expecting a big fat jolly man.
Sydney Bartlett: You're talking about my father.
Sydney Bartlett: I'm his daughter, Sydney with a "Y", not an "I".
Divya: Mother left you because you are impossible! You won't discuss anything! You just throw up these commands like walls around you...
Devesh Katdare: You have no right to get into...
Divya: I am not finished, for once you are going to hear what I have to say! You, shut me out! You cut me off! And now you're doing the same thing to mother. Well if you don't start changing, if you don't stop this behavior, you are going to end up unloved and alone!
Devesh Katdare: Then I guess there is no hope for me.
Boris: Do you have a will, Hank?
Hank: I do, why?
Boris: Stepping into my world brings with it certain... risks.
Harper: Maybe adrenaline junkies do change.
Hank: Have dinner with me and find out.
Harper: You know I can't do that.
Hank: Yeah but I don't know why you won't date a doctor.
Harper: They're workaholics, not socially dependable, they're divorce rate is terrible and don't even get me started on their God complex.
Hank: That's all? I thought you liked a challenge.
Hank: You need an Evan.
Evan: I need an Evan, exactly.
Hank: So get an Evan.
Evan: I think Paige wants to be an Evan. She keeps telling me she wants to help but I...
Hank: So hire her! She could work for us until school starts. She could be our summer office manager.
Evan: See okay this is the... I don't know Henry. I don't know if Paige should work at HankMed.
Hank: What are your worried about?
Evan: That she'll hate working with me, that I'll hate working with her, that I'll somehow change working around her, she'll change working around me. That we'll stop being honest with each other, or we'll start being too honest and then suddenly we're screaming and yelling at work and I'm saying things we regret and wish we could take back but we can't take them back and then Oh My God, we, breakup and we breakup badly, it's messy, everyone gets involved and it's a giant disaster, it ends in a cataclysmic disaster. Other than that, nothing.
visual: Hank's pager watch beeps.
Hank: I have to go.
Harper: Are you kidding?
Hank: No, I'm not.
Harper: Is it an emergency?
Hank: I need to go, I'm sorry.
Harper: Don't apologize, it was my mistake for breaking my own rule.
Hank: We'll reschedule?
Harper: It's okay, better this happens now than on date number five when I really liked you.
Hank: I really am so sorry.