When you're single, you're exactly as happy as you are.
When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the relationship.
Jeff: $85 for that tiny jar? What's in it $80?
Adam: Being in love with a woman is gay?
Russell: No, but saying it out loud to another guy is.
Jennifer: I want you to take a look at the new shoes I just bought. I'm wondering if they're too slutty.
Audrey: Are they clear?
Audrey: They're not too slutty.
Audrey: If you sell my bicycle, you will never see me naked ever again. Oh, and the birthday deal? That will be off.
Jeff: With, or without you, the deal will proceed forward.
Russell: Oh, there's Jeff. Mongo like art.