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Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (1996)
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| Title: | Pilot |
| Episode Number: | 1 |
| Season: | 1 |
| Season Episode #.: | 1 |
| Production Number: | 001 |
| Original Airdate: | Friday September 27th, 1996 |
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When Sabrina Spellman goes in to live with her two aunts in the town of Westbridge, Massachusetts, she gets an unexpected surprise on her sixteenth birthday: that she is a witch and can now use her magical powers. Thinking that is the worst thing that can happen to her, she also has a bad run-in with Libby, the most popular girl in school, and quickly learns that Libby would like to make Harvey her boyfriend, even though Sabrina has a crush on him.
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| Sabrina: I love being a witch! I don’t know what made the Council change their minds but I got to do the whole day over again, and now the teachers think I’m smart, the jocks think I’m cool. Oh and I’m going to the movies with Harvey and Jenny Saturday night. Woo-hoo! I’m normal! Gotta go tell the cat. (She runs upstairs)
Hilda: Teens.
Zelda: What about them?
Hilda: Just in general.
| Libby: (To Jill and Cee-Cee) Can you believe how young the freshmen look? (As Sabrina enters the restroom) May we help you?
Sabrina: I just wanted to wash my hands. Y’know, frog juice.
Libby: You know, if you stink I’m not sure it’s fair to blame the frog. (Her friends laugh)
Sabrina: Well at least I don’t splash on aftershave to remind me of some boy who dumped me last summer.
Libby: How’d you know that?
Sabrina- I don’t know, my incredible sense of smell told me?
Libby: Huh! Yeah right.
Sabrina: Well, I’d better get going. Smell you later.
Libby: Wait! Don’t come in here again. From now on you use the freaks bathroom.
| Edward: (His voice is muffled by the magic book) Sabrina, open me up!
Sabrina: No!
Edward: We have to talk young lady, open me up this instant!
Sabrina: No! I don’t want to talk to a book. Oh God, I’m talking to a book. (She reluctantly opens the book) I can’t be a witch. Witches don’t exist.
Edward: (A lot clearer) Honey, I know this is hard but you just have to accept it. You're not like other kids, you're special.
Sabrina: I don’t wanna be special, I wanna be normal.
Edward: I understand, but that ship has sailed.
Sabrina: None of this makes sense. I mean all these years I thought you were traveling with the Foreign Service.
Edward: I am. It’s just a lot more foreign than you thought.
Sabrina: And mom? Has she really been digging for fossils in Peru?
Edward: Yes she is.
Sabrina: Then I wanna go live with her.
Edward: You can’t. You see there’s a rule. If you set eyes on your mother in the next two years she’ll turn into a ball of wax.
Sabrina: What!
Edward: It’s the way they discourage mortal-witch marriages.
Sabrina: So is that the reason you and mom got divorced?
Edward: No.
Sabrina: So d’ya think maybe you could get back together?
Edward: No. That’s another ship that’s sailed. You're going to be fine. Just take some time and think about all this and if you ever need me, I’m in the index.
Hilda: (Playing poker in the dining room) I call. Five aces.
Zelda: You cheat!
Hilda: Do not.
Zelda: Do too!
Hilda: Do not!
| Zelda: Okay. You know what? Let's try some magic. Sabrina, you stand right there, Hilda you stay there. Alright, let's start with the basics. Orange into apple. Now you concentrate and point. Come on, try it. (Sabrina tries but turns the orange into a pineapple)
Zelda: Apple, pineapple. That’s very close.
Hilda: (Laughing) No it’s not.
Zelda: Let's try again. (Hilda places a lemon on the table by the pineapple)
Sabrina: (After numerous tries) I’m not very good at this. You told me the twenty-third time was the charm.
Zelda: You’ll learn to control your magic. Or at the very least, you’ll always be able to garnish a ham steak.
Sabrina: One more try. (She goes around the table and points at Salem) Salem into apple.
Salem: I think that’s enough for one night.
Hilda: The cat’s right, wrap it up. You’ve got school tomorrow.
Sabrina: I’m a witch and I still have to go to school?
Zelda: Hm-hm.
Sabrina: Unfair. Hey, maybe I’ll turn Mr. Pool into...
Hilda: (Interrupting and pointing) Now! Now! Be careful pointing your finger at people, it could be dangerous.
Sabrina: You're pointing at me.
Hilda: I have the safety on.
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