Sabrina: (To herself after a rainbow appears in her room) Oh a rainbow, I hope that doesn’t stain.
Roland: (Falling off the rainbow) Faith and begorra! It’s your lover-boy.
Sabrina: Roland, what’s with the brogue?
Roland: It’s part of my new job. You know, after a lot of therapy, I’ve finally figured out why you and I never clicked.
Sabrina: Your personality?
Roland: No! You’re shallow. So I needed a glamorous job to impress you. So say hello to your dream date leprechaun Roland! Erin Gobragh!
Sabrina: Erin go back! Roland how can I put this without hurting your feelings? You sicken me!
Roland: Here, let’s take it slow. We have the rest of our lives to love each other. Hey, do ya wanna give me a leg-up here? (She moves to help him onto the rainbow, and notices how much Roland is enjoying himself)
Sabrina: Roland, you’re not helping. In fact I think you’re enjoying this.
Roland: Like you’re not? (Roland gives her a look and heads for the linen closet)
Sabrina: Where are you going?
Roland: I’ll use the linen closet. Boy, you’re sounding like a ball-and-chain already.
Roland: I'll take that thank you.
Sabrina: (After Roland grabs her backpack) Hey! (Rushing after him)
Roland: Oh-no! You’ve caught me!
Sabrina: Oh hey, I’ve caught a leprechaun, don’t I get a pot of gold?... and my book-bag! (Pulling it out of Roland's hands)
Roland: We don’t do gold anymore, but you do get these coupons. Redeemable for three wishes.
Sabrina: (Taking the coupons from him) Great! Well I know what my first one will be. (Pulling a coupon out of the booklet) I wish Roland would go away.
Roland: (As he is fading away) But honey...
Witch Judge: Silence! The trials begin. Now, who smuggled this miscreant into the mortal realm? (Talking about Caligula)
Zelda: We didn't!
Hilda: He stowed away.
Witch Judge: Is this true?
Caligula: Maybe, but your honor, speaking man to man, they wanted me.
Salem: (Sobbing) Another fifty years as a cat! By the time I work off this extra time I’ll be an old man.
Zelda: Oh, many people are vital in their later years. Look at John Glenn.
Salem: You look at him.
Hilda: Well you really should thank Roland for talking you into turning yourself in.
Roland: Oh, no thanks needed. I did it for the love of a good woman.
Sabrina: Oh, so you met someone?
Roland: You don’t like the leprechaun thing do ya? That’s why I start an exciting new job on Monday.
Salem: Organ donor?
Roland: Bounty hunter. So let’s just hope next time we meet it’s not because there’s a price on your head, pretty lady. (Gesturing to Sabrina, he vanishes)
Sabrina: Well I’m tired, I’m gonna bed. I’m sorry I made you guys stand trial, I was just tryin’ to give Salem a nice present.
Zelda: Oh, apology accepted. We’re proud that you took responsibility for your actions.
Hilda: Now for the bad news, because of the time change from ancient Rome, it’s time for you to go to school.
Sabrina: What?! The sleep I get in school is never as good as the sleep I get in a bed.