Sabrina: She was working in the library.
Zelda: The most dangerous ones are always sentenced to the library.
Hilda: It keeps bloodshed to a minium.
Zelda: Maybe I should have incanted the unbreakable plastic cookie jar spell...
Sabrina: (Reading a postcard from the Other Realm) "Salem, a clerical error has been made on the clerical correction of your original clerical error. You don’t have nine lives left you’ve got... ONE!"
Salem: ONE?! Just one? Okay I wanna helmet, some body armor and a quiet corner where I can avoid all danger... and will someone move that spoon? (He starts to sob)
Hilda: (Entering the kitchen) Well mother just called. Apparently the gift certificate was for gold ear-rings, not ball-bearings. I misread her very bad hand-writing.
Zelda: See? She wasn’t being unfair.
Sabrina: So is everything okay with you two?
Hilda: I guess, although my bedroom is now filled with four tons of cracked-corn... and I’m not allowed to watch television for a week.
Salem: Cracked corn? Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse? (Running toward his cat door) Run away!
Sabrina: So Martha convinced me that she was a dull, nice librarian but I still think that she was sincere when she laughed at my jokes.
Zelda: Oh honey, everybody misjudges people. When Salem was busy trying to take over the world, your Aunt Hilda was convinced he was just a workaholic.