Zelda: How it didn’t occur to Hilda that the handle goes on the outside of the tea pot is beyond me.
Salem: She hears the music different than we do. Hey Zel, favour to ask.
Zelda: Salem, you already did and the answer is no. I can’t, arbitrarily, turn you into a man just so you can date Roxie. The Witches Council has rules against that.
Salem: I curse the Witches council! Unless they’re listening, in which case I bow to their punishing wisdom-um. Look, so I haven’t been a perfect cat...
Zelda: (Interrupting) You’ve been a rotten cat.
Salem: Precisely, but I’m willing to change for Roxie! I’m in love with her. Please Zelda, make me a man.
Zelda: Oh if I had a dollar for every time some strapping young hunk has said that to me...
Salem: (Interrupting) Heck, if you had a dime we’d all be rich! Na-ha-ha! But seriously Zelda, Roxie has changed me. She makes me wanna be a better cat (sniffs) But she won’t have me unless I’m a man. (he starts crying)
Zelda: Oh good lord, are those tears? This is the real thing.
Salem: That’s what I’m trying to tell you. (Sniff!)
Zelda: Oh all right. I’ll request a temporary transformation from the Witches Council so you can meet Roxie in human form. But I’m warning you, unless she really is the one, the spell wont last.
Salem: YEEHAW! (Singing) I’m gonna be a ma-an! I’m gonna be a ma-an... Oh my gosh, what am I gonna wear?
Sabrina: Hey, Salem. Nice suit.
Salem: Oh Sabrina, it’s a sad sad day. Zelda turned the cat in me into a man, but the pig in me turned the man back into a cat!
Sabrina: On the bright side, you’re your own petting zoo. (The woman Salem was gawking at inside the coffee house comes out and stops beside Sabrina) Thanks a lot Veronique.
Veronique: My pleasure, Sabrina. He made it too easy.
Salem: I’ve been had! I’ve been duped! Actually I was duped before I even got the chance to be had!