Sam: (voiceover) A couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.
(Regina is video recording while Sam is in a coma)
Regina: Where does a mother turn for comfort and answers in a time like this? To you, that's where; the good people at Extreme Makeover: Home Addition.
(after Sam wakes up and remembers no one)
Howard: Samantha? I'm your father, Howard J. Newly. Here's my card.
Andrea: So what is this thing you have? Retro what?
Sam: Retrograde amnesia. You wake up, you can't remember anything you've done or who you've met.
Andrea: Oh, God, I have that every morning.
Regina: (to Andrea) You might want to switch drinking arms. You don't want to bulk up on one side.
Sam: Hey Todd, there's some messages on the machine. Do you mind if I listen to them?
Todd: Sure, go for it.
Machine: Message one.
Guy: Todd, just wanted you to know, who ever tried to run Sam down, we're going to find that guy ... and we're going to buy him a drink!
Machine: Message two.
Guy: Todd, it's probably quiet without Sam, so if you want, Mark and I can come by and bitch at you for no reason at all.
(Todd runs into the room and shuts off the machine)
(over the phone)
Andrea: Where are you? It's Renee's birthday. Everybody's here. Did you forget?
Sam: Okay, Andrea, what does what does complete memory loss mean to you?
Andrea: It means I'm here alone.
(to Todd while holding up a small black dress)
Sam: Oh, my God! I have a daughter?
(Todd shakes his head 'no')
Woman: I said I need my coat!
Sam: Alright girly, listen. I know you're in a hurry to get to work, but trust me, the street corner's still going to be there.
(Sam gasps after realizing what she just said)
Andrea: My baby's still in there!
(Sam finds a note in her purse)
Sam: "One day at a time." "30 days." I'm an alcoholic?! Andrea!
(Sam storms off)
Andrea: Worst 30 days of my life.