J.D: (To Dr. Cox) How did you get Sam out of daycare?!
Dr. Cox: Put on a wig and a skirt and told them I was you.

J.D: The point is I don't want you fighting my battles for me, I need to be a strong role model for Sam
Turk: Dude, that's my job, remember? When Sam gets older I teach him about sports and stuff and you're in charge of Izzy's emotional crap. We agreed that's how we raise our kids.
J.D: Our kids, Turk, we're not married
Turk: Dude, we're a little married
J.D: I know...I love it

Elliot: Look at him, he's dying in there. I mean emotionally, not dying dying, although he could be, I haven't seen his full blood-work yet.
(Carla shows the blood-work)
Elliot: Good, he's not dying, but he is...