George: Look, do I have to break up with her in person? Can't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach for these things.
Jerry: You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion, right off!
Marlene: I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
Jerry: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
Marlene: I saw your act.
Jerry: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
Marlene: Well, to be honest, it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.
Jerry: I can't believe this. So what are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's it?
Marlene: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
Jerry: You're a cashier!
Marlene: Look, Jerry, it's just not my kind of humor.
Jerry: You can't go by the audience that night. It was late. They were terrible.
Marlene: I heard the material.
Jerry: I have other stuff. You should come see me on the weekend.
George: Think I swallowed a fly! I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen?
Jerry: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it, so it turned against you. Same thing happened to the Blob.
Jerry: I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.
George: It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: 'Son of a bang! Son of a boom!' I get to the top of the wall, the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away. I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!
Jerry: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says.
George: Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say.
George: My back is killing me.
Jerry: You gotta go to my chiropractor, he’s the best.
George: Oh yeah, everybody’s guy is the best.
(Car door opens. Elaine enters)
(George pulls his seat forward to allow Elaine into the back)
Elaine: Hey, what are you doing?
George: I’m letting you in.
Elaine: Oh no. No. I don’t want to sit in the back. I’ll be left out of the conversation.
George: No, you won’t.
Elaine: Yes, I will, George. I’ll have to stick my chin on top of the seat.
(George gets out, and gestures for Elaine to sit in the middle)
Elaine: Why can’t you sit in the middle?
George: Please, it doesn’t look good. Boy, boy, girl.
Elaine: You’re afraid to sit next to a man. You’re a little homophobic, aren’t ya?
George: Is it that obvious?
(Elaine sits in the middle)
Elaine: Hello, Jerry.
Elaine: Did you get a haircut?
Jerry: No, shower. So, where are we eating?