Kramer: Are you sure you don't have one, because there's a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen.
Elaine: Then maybe you have a fax machine.
Kramer: You just blew my mind.
George: You're sleeping with the maid?
George: I've done that. Did you ever eat an ostrich burger?
Jerry: What did I just pay for?
Kramer: Uh oh, you're a John.
Elaine: Bobby, you've got to stop calling your Gammy. Why? Because sometimes you call very early in the morning, when Gammy's been out late the night before. And sometimes when Gammy's not alone.
Jerry: (to waitress): Cup of tea with lemon.
George: What happened to your voice?
Jerry: I was screamin' at hecklers all night. The last time I open for a rodeo.
George: Well, Jerry, I been thinkin'. I've gotten as far as I can go with George Costanza.
Jerry: Is this the suicide talk or the nickname talk?
George: The nickname. George. What is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up.
Jerry: You mean like...Liza!
George: But I was thinking...T-bone.
Jerry: But there's no "t" in your name. What about G-bone?
George: There's no G-bone.
Jerry: There's a g-spot.
George: That's a myth.
(George takes a bite of his sandwich and gets a piece stuck to his chin)
Jerry: T-bone, the ladies are gonna love ya.