A block party complete with burn barrels, beer and dancing people of all ages was the scene in which Frank Gallagher, a middle aged alcoholic man on disability, introduced himself and his six children in New York city one evening. The police, alerted to the impromptu gathering, raided the party, breaking up the congenial chaos, telling the partiers to go to bed. Fiona, the eldest, was shown putting the youngest children to bed and falling into a messy bed herself late that night. Frank had lost his wife just a year previous, saying that she had been a colossal bitch, but what a lover! Frank himself was wont to take his disability check and disappear into his favorite alcoholic haunt just down the street, signing the entire check over to the barkeep just to pay the previous bar tab and intoning that the drinks were on the house to which cheers were heard, then his sarcastic, "Not!" resounded throughout the bar. After drinking his dinner, his habit was to stagger home or his friend would bring him home in a wheelbarrow and help him into the house and leave him on the kitchen floor to sleep it off and sober up...Read the full recap
Frank: Nobody's saying our neighborhood's the Garden of Eden. Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether. But it's been a good home to us, to me and my kids, who I'm proud of, because every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me. Fiona, my rock, huge help, has all the best qualities of her mother, except she's not a raging psycho bitch. Lip, smart as a whip. Straight A's and the honor roll. Boy's definitely going somewhere. Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic. Don't have a clue where he got that from. Wants to be a paratrooper. Knows how to disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock. Carl... Um, I don't really know that much about Carl. Oh, loves animals. Always dragging home some poor stray he found, taking them up to his room. Ah, Debbie, sent by God, total angel. Raises money for UNICEF year-round, some of which she actually turns in. Liam, gonna be a star. I'm no biologist, but he looks a little bit like my first sponsor. He and the ex were close. Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbors. There's nothing they won't do for each other... or to each other. I never realized how little sex I was having till V and Kev moved next door. And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor. Captain of our little ship. We may not have much, but all of us, to a man knows the most important thing in this life: We know how to fucking party.
Lip: Got a hummer today.
Ian: What's the law on sex with pets?
Steve: Hey, Debbie, why do they call him Lip?
Fiona: His real name's Phillip.
Veronica: (about Steve) How the fuck would I know how much he earns, you twisted dumb prick?
Kevin: I'm not a dumb prick.
Veronica: Kevin, I just met the guy an hour ago.
Kevin: Take back "dumb prick."
Veronica: Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Veronica. What's your pre-tax income?
Steve: Ninety percent of the world's problems are caused by tiny words that come in pairs. I mean, we're healthy and we're happy, but when people ask, we say: "Not bad."
Frank: And a round for all my friends from the UAW.
(Bar patrons cheer)
Kevin: Wow, really?
Frank: Fuck, no.
Lip: (to Steve) Hey, talk out of your ass with that much conviction you end up needing a much bigger toothbrush. That's an anal fact.
(Someone knocks on the door; Lip and Ian scramble to hide)
Lip: Shit. I'm not here. I'm not here.
Ian: You don't know us, Fiona.
Fiona: Oh, what have you done? What have you done?
Linda: (to Kash about his mother) I don't want the cops dragging me out of bed at 4 AM because she's yelling that the CIA is stealing her trash.
Ian: But that happened, didn't it?
Linda: Once, four years ago, yes. But now she's locked in the basement making a helmet out of tinfoil. Enough's enough.
Fiona: (to a passed out Frank) "Good job, Fiona. I don't know how I could do this
without you. Thanks for all your hard work." You're welcome, Dad. My pleasure.
Steve: Your life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. You're not lost. You don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again.
Lip: (about Ian) Did you make him hard?
Karen: Ever try to play pool with a rope?
Steve: (about Frank) What the hell's he on?
Fiona: Uh, he thinks he bought ecstasy, but the only dealer he gets credit from is a schizophrenic.