Lip: What's wrong with your mom? Why can't she ever leave the house?
Karen: What's wrong with your dad? Why's he such a drunk?
Kevin: Stop lending the Gallaghers our shit, V. A toaster? Who borrows a toaster?
Veronica: Carl set theirs on fire trying to melt two action figures together.
Fiona: (to Carl) The bat is for killing, not for taking to school.
Lip: (to Steve) Back for more abuse. You're like a boomerang.
Fiona: (to Steve) Tony's sweet. And he has a real job.
Kevin: I'm sorry, I totally fell asleep when you were talking about him. How long was I out for?
Veronica: (to Fiona about Tony) Holy shit! You popped his cherry. And how was the 30 seconds of bliss?
Fiona: Dad, does Aunt Ginger live in Wisconsin?
Frank: That's what I've told you. Right?
Fiona: Then why was there a woman from the Social Security Department at the house, saying that Ginger cashes her checks in Chicago?
Frank: Ginger's in town, and she didn't call me? After all I've done for that woman?
Kevin: Oh, shit, Frank. You're cashing the checks.
Fiona: Do you know how much trouble you're going to be in?
Ian: Why'd you tell your brothers I attacked you?
Mandy: If you don't get away from me, Ian Gallagher, I'll scream.
Ian: Please, I'm begging you. You have to tell them the truth. They're going to kill me.
Fiona: You know nothing about me.
Steve: Then teach me! Teach me.
Frank: I went to get Ginger, like you told me to.
Fiona: This is Aunt Ginger?
Frank: In the flesh.
Fiona: Ginger has a hard-on.
Frank: She was born with a large clitoris.
Fiona: (about Aunt Ginger) Don't give me a hard time. I've been very upset about this. I'm in mourning.
Fiona: When did she die?
Frank: Mmm, 12 years ago.
Fiona: We're living in her house. Was there even a will?
Frank: You don't need a will, if she's not technically dead.
Fiona: Yes, she is technically dead, Dad. Dead is dead. Just because you haven't told anybody that she's dead, doesn't make her not dead.
Ian: This wouldn't be happening if I had just had sex with her.
Kash: You can't be what you're not, Ian.
Steve: (to Fiona) Well, if you need me, I'll be across the street in the bushes stalking you.
Mickey: Hey, Lip! How's your lip?
Lip: Maybe you should throw it in her, you know? She'll call her brothers off.
Ian: Yeah, yeah, and maybe, uh, you should throw it in Kash, right?
Lip: Why, is he asking about me?
Ian: Yeah, he's trying to go through all the Gallagher brothers.
Abby Ruggiero: My name is Abby, and I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Fake Aunt Ginger: My name is Abby, and I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Abby Ruggiero: Mrs. Gallagher, how old are you?
Fake Aunt Ginger: I don't remember.
Mandy: Are you sure you're not just making this up?
Ian: About JC Chasez?
Mandy: No... about being gay.
Ian: In this neighborhood? Why would I make that up?