Fee and V discuss Kev's proposal. She says he was wicked drunk, like
that David Hasselhoff video eating a cheeseburger. Fee never saw that.
The girls are dismantling neighboring toilet stalls as they chat. A
woman overhears them and joins in the conversation. She got the perfect
proposal. Champagne, roses. Six months in, she finds out he's doing her
sister. Fee and V come out of their respective stalls, each bearing a
giant roll of toilet paper. Fee says their V's relationship with Kev
seems perfect as is. Why risk ruining it?..Read the full recap
Frank: (to a woman in a full body cast) I bet it itches like you got crabs in there.
Carol Fisher: You know this isn't what your father wants. You know that, don't you?
Veronica: Daddy's dead, Mama. He doesn't really want anything.
Veronica: What's that smell? It's either vomit or fancy cheese.
Debbie: Remember the guy who played Elmo at my birthday party?
Fiona: You remember that?
Debbie: He took his head off. It was traumatizing.
Veronica: Aw, Sheila, you're making me feel like Cinderella.
Karen: Screw Cinderella. Little doe-eyed bitch. Probably one of the worst role models for little girls.
Frank: (in a cancer support group) I mean, mine's in my balls. At least they've got a reason to be pissed. Tucked between two legs, wedged right near your asshole. There's no good way to sit, no underwear that's been devised to hold 'em effectively in place. They're a bizarre appendage. An afterthought. Which is why I don't believe in intelligent design. There is no God. We're all gonna die.
Frank: I've decided to start wearing a tie every day. I could die at any moment. I thought it'd be nice to look my best for the Grim Reaper. Son of a bitch.
Doctor: Bungee jumping, eh?
Frank: From the L tracks.
Doctor: Good news/bad: your biopsy results came back negative. Tumor was benign, so you're not gonna die of testicular cancer.
Frank: Oh! Oh, thank God! Oh! So, I can keep it?
Doctor: Yeah. The swelling on the brain you've probably got going on in there might end up doing you in.
Doctor: I'm fuckin' with you. The bump looks pretty superficial, but if you vomit more than twice, have any seizures or experience memory loss, call 911.
Frank: Well, what if I vomit while I'm having a seizure and have no memory of it?
Doctor: Tree in the forest, my friend.
Sheila Jackson: And it's supposed to be a beautiful day today. Beautiful and safe and sunny.
Eddie Jackson: The sun's just a burning ball of fire that could plunge from the sky at any time.
Debbie: He's saying that he's gonna light both the dress and the shit-sack house on fire. What's a shit-sack?
Frank: (at Kevin and Veronica's wedding reception) Uh, folks, let's face facts. When it comes to good things, most of 'em come in pairs like your favorite jeans, new socks, and Kevin and Veronica. And, as it turns out, most people's testicles. So here's to the happy couple, Kevin, Veronica, may you always only have two testicles between ya. L'chaim!
Veronica: Hey, lady friend, where the hell is my cake?
Fiona: Steve is supposed to be here with the damn thing.
Veronica: That's the trouble with the exciting ones. The unpredictability is what makes them so exciting, but it's also what makes them so damned unpredictable.
Sheila Jackson: (about Princess Diana's wedding) It really was like a fairy tale. And she was a real princess.
Eddie Jackson: Yeah, well, she's dead now. How's that for happily ever after?
Sheila Jackson: Asshole.