I'll Light a Candle for You Every Day - Recap

The scene opens with Fiona “getting busy” with Craig Heisner, the guy from her High School diary. However, he says that dead people poop themselves. The voice of Debs wakes Fiona from her dream and she says that when people die, they poop themselves. She tells her that she is going back to sleep. She gets a text from Craig that tells her that he remembers her. He texts her and says that they should hang out. She agrees. Meanwhile, Lip meets with his college professor and he thanks Lip for the drugs. He says that it was no problem. He tells Lip that they are going to meet an Officer from West Point. He tells him that he is working on a project that reads card numbers off of parking kiosks. He asks why Lip hasn’t been working on his project. Lip says that he wants to know about West Point. The Officer says that he has to “service” him. Lip looks at him confused and the Officer laughs and says that if he works on his project, then he will tell him about West Point.

Meanwhile, Frank is over at Dottie’s place and is hanging her laundry. She tells him that she will probably not live enough to enjoy the pension from working all those years. Frank asks if there is someone serious in her life. She rattles off names and Kermit, an acquaintance of Frank’s, is on her list of men that she has had “relations” with. She says that Kermit has been doing some electrical work, but Frank doesn’t believe her. He wants to know what he has been doing and says that he doesn’t trust him. Fiona is getting ready to go to meet Craig when Victoria asks if she can help in the salon tomorrow. She agrees. Victoria asks if Craig and she are going to do it and Fiona tells her that he is married. She tells her that Craig might not care and she says that he is probably expecting it. Meanwhile, Kev goes up to Stan, who is yelling at people out the window. He tells him to put on some pants, but Stan doesn’t care. Kev gives Stan the receipts from the bar that Stan owns. However, all Stan cares about it the money. Fiona meets with Craig and he talks about how hot she was in High School and she tells him that she had a crush on him back then. Craig says that he is married to the Head Cheerleader still and they have kids together. She is happy for him, but it is clear that he is looking for something else than just friendship.

Lip gets home to find Carl punch Ian as he does pull ups to help him get rock hard abs. Lip tells them that he talked to an Officer at West Point and says that they are going to push that angle. Debs comes in singing a morbid song and Carl tells Lip that Debs is obsessed with death. Kev goes up to the bartender and tells her that she was right and that they shouldn’t leave Stan alone. He suggests that they buy the bar from him, but she thinks that it is a stupid idea. Frank goes in and finds Kermit. He starts to sarcastically talk to him about Dottie. He says that he helps her out and he says that he is painting her house. Frank says that Kermit better stay away from Dottie. Meanwhile, Fiona finds a purse on the bus when Craig calls her. He says that if he wasn’t married, he would be with her. She says that he had his chance at high school. She says that she won’t throw herself at him. A man tells Fiona that it is bad luck to leave her purse on the floor. She thanks him and picks up the purse that she found. Later, the family goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet and splurge on the $526 that was in the purse. She looks at the wallet and it belongs to Kim Fertado. Debs talks to her friend who tells her that she can’t wait to die so that she can be closer to God. Lip has Fiona call Kim and tell her that she has her purse and that she better get a $200 reward because that is how much they can get it on Ebay. Fiona tells Victoria that she is glad that she met up with Craig. Otherwise she would have never found the purse.

Frank is home when Karen’s boyfriend, Jody, comes up. He says that he wants to marry Karen and that he wants to have his blessing. He shows the ring and Frank makes fun of the size. He changes his tune when he sees that it hurt his feelings and tells him to grab them some beers to celebrate. He looks at the ring. Back at the house, Fiona comes in with breakfast and tells them that it is from the same money. Debs reads the obituaries. Fiona tells them that she needs to go meet the lady about the purse. Frank gets to Dottie’s and tells her that he is going to paint her house because Kermit can’t do it. He tells her that he bought her DVDs and batteries for her beeper, but in reality it took them from his house. He also gives her the engagement ring that Jody was going to give. He asks her to marry him and she laughs. He says that her money will go down the drain. He says that he will make sure that her name isn’t forgotten and that people will drink the drink that will be named after her. She tells him that it is a yes to the marriage. Fiona takes the purse back and gets a text from Craig asking her what she would want him to do to her if they were to have sex.

Fiona goes up to the apartment and Kim comes out. She is a mother and she asks if there was money inside because it was her rent for the month. Fiona lies and says that she didn’t see any money. Meanwhile, Kev comes home to Veronica and says that Stan is going to need round the clock care soon. He tells Veronica his plan to buy the bar and says that if he buys the bar, then Stan will have enough money to afford the care that he wants. Veronica tells him that it is a good idea. However, later at the salon, Fiona tells her that it is a stupid idea. Veronica agrees and says that she couldn’t tell him no. Fiona tells Veronica that she wants to give back the money to the woman. Meanwhile, Lip and Karen wait by the parking kiosks and he tests out his device. He asks about Jody and she tells him that he is looking for a job as a tattoo artist.

Frank is cleaning out the litter box and he says that there is a lot in it. Dottie says that she can’t always make it to the toilet. Frank freezes until she tells him that she is joking. Dottie hops into the shower when her beeper goes off. Frank calls the number and a woman tells him that there is a heart for Dottie. However, he lies and tells them that she passed. He puts the beeper down and goes back to cleaning out the litter box. Kev is filling out bank loan forms and the bartender tells him that he misspelled his own name. Veronica comes in and tries to tell Kev that she would never see him if he owned the bar. Kev tells her that he is going to host events and she tells him that it is a great idea, but it is clearly not a good one. Frank goes home to find Jody looking frantically for the ring that Frank took. At the same moment, Lip and Karen are “getting busy”. She tells Lip that they can’t have sex anymore because she feels that Jody is going to propose to her. Back at the bar, Frank vents on how Kev is like everyone else and how they are looking for a handout. He says that God’s plan is to take what is given and don’t complain. He justifies himself for telling the hospital that Dottie passed away and tells everyone in the bar that they should stay with what they got.

Fiona gets the money that she took from Kim out of their winter money and Frank comes in. He is told of what Fiona is doing and he says that it is Finders Keepers Losers Weepers. She gets a call from Craig again and he tells her to meet up with him. She says that she doesn’t because she has to return a purse. He tells her that he will talk to her another time then. Meanwhile, Kev is getting ready for the luau event that he planned and tells him that Vinny would loan them the money. Veronica comes clean and tells him not to do it. She tells him that he doesn’t have the head for it. She tells him that he is going to ruin her mother’s credit, but he doesn’t want to hear it. Frank gets to Dottie’s and says that their big time waits for them. Dottie says that she saw on the news that there was a heart available and that it was the heart she needed. She tells him that she knows that he has been playing her, but says that she doesn’t care. She says that her money is going to her daughter and her house is going to the nuns. She says that Frank can have the $2,000 and a flat screen TV to give her one last time having sex. They “get busy” and she dies. Frank calls 911 and tells them that his girlfriend is dead. On his way out, he takes off the ring.

Fiona goes to Kim and she tells her that she knows that Fiona took the money. Fiona asks surprised and tells her that she didn’t. Kim calls Fiona names and vise versa. They yell at one another and Fiona tells her that it is Finders Keepers Losers Weepers. On the train ride home, she calls Craig and asks if she is free to get together. Veronica finds Debs testing her baby’s breathing. She asks Debs what the obsession of death. She says that she doesn’t want to be alone. She tells her that she doesn’t have to worry about that for a long time. Fiona and Craig meet and he tells her that he brought her back to their High School. She asks about his wife and he says that he didn’t have a wife in High School. They “get busy” in his van and it is a mess. Fiona regrets having sex with him and realizes that it wasn’t at all like her dream that she had.

At the bar, Kev tells Veronica that he knows that the luau is a disaster and Veronica says that she wants to support him and says that when the time comes, they will find a way. Frank comes in with the TV and he says that he needs booze. Frank gives Jody the ring and Karen says that she will marry him. Debs asks Frank if he is alright and he says that he just looked death in the face. On the train ride home, Fiona regrets what she did and calls up an old friend. He tells her that he is glad that she called. She tells him that she just called to say hello. At the same moment, he is getting “serviced” by a woman. Frank stumbles into a church and puts money in the collection box and lights a candle. He realizes where he is and steals the collection box from the church. The episode ends.

Written By David Sibert

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