(listing ways to make money for Frank's surgery)
Chuck: Number nine, rob a convenience store. Number ten, recycle scrap metal. Number 11, prostitution.
Frank: Nix that one. My thrill drill is out of juice.
Chuck: Number 12, sperm bank.
Frank: See number 11.
Carl: I got suspended for bullying. Need a parent to come with me to apologize.
Fiona: Where the hell were you?
Ian: The army. I enlisted.
Fiona: The army?
Ian: Yeah. I wanted to find myself. Didn't think I could do it here.
Fiona: Don't you have to be 18?
Ian: Don't know, don't care. I left. Stuff got nuts.
Fiona: What "stuff?"
Ian: Oh, military trying to control me.
Fiona: Well, isn't that what the military does?
Ian: Got sick of it, but, hey, I met some amazing folks. Got all these great ideas. I'm a different person. Hey, but we can talk about that later, right?
(Svetlana walks in)
Mickey: And you, don't think you're getting off just 'cause you're about to drop a patty from your fur-burger.
Mickey: She won't shave.
Svetlana: I like the way God made me.
Mickey: That's nice.
Rosa Ramirez: Why did you assault all these students?
Carl: Talkin' smack about my brother.
Rosa Ramirez: All of them?
Carl: That one's got stupid hair. That one smells like bologna farts.
Rosa Ramirez: And the one whose hand you smashed in a locker? And the one you pushed down the stairs?
Carl: Too short, maybe? I don't remember.
Carl: Lip says you stole a helicopter.
Ian: I tried to. Kind of tipped it. Blades snapped. Motor caught fire.
Carl: Awesome. You shoot anyone?
Ian: I never left basic.
Carl: You can't shoot anyone there?
Ian: You can. I didn't.
Carl: You shot no one. You flew nothing. Why'd you even go there in the first place?
Ian: Relationship issues.
Sammi: Nothing like a major scam to lift a person's spirits.
Ian: I'm working a double tonight. You want to stop by?
Mickey: Yeah, sure. Got nothing better to do than watch a bunch of pruney queens slap their sacks against your ass cheeks.
(Mickey stops a customer from putting money down Ian's shorts)
Mickey: Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I'm gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.
Bear: Settle down, rumble fish. Anyway, a hand only has 14 knuckles.
Mickey: You want to fucking die?
Fiona: (on the phone to Lip) I know you don't trust me. I know you want to punish me, and I get it. I want to punish myself. I have no way to prove myself to you or anyone. But, Christ, Lip, this, like, relentless passive aggressive bullshit, it's killing me. I need my family back, okay? Please?
Kevin: My motto? Prepare and prevent, don't repair and repent.
Kermit: That's my motto.
Kevin: You can't own a motto, Kermit.