Bewick: It was an accident, I swear. (Sherlock starts to leave) Hey, you’ve gotta help me, Mr. Holmes. Everyone says you’re the best. Without you… I’ll get hung for this.
Sherlock: No, no, Mr. Bewick, not at all. "Hanged," yes.

John: What the hell are you doing?!?
Sherlock: Bored.
John: What?
Sherlock: Bored! (shoots the wall) Bored! Bored! I don't know what's gotten into the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them.
John: So you take it out on the wall?
Sherlock: Oh, the wall had it coming.

John: There's a head. A severed head!
Sherlock: Just tea for me, thanks.
John: No, there's a head in the fridge.
Sherlock: Yes.
John: A bloody head!
Sherlock: Where else was I suppose to put it? You don't mind, do you?

Sherlock: I see you've written up the taxi driver case.
John: Yes.
Sherlock: "A Study in Pink"--nice.
John: Well, you know, pink lady, pink case, pink phone--there was a lot of pink.

John: It's the solar system!
Sherlock: Oh hell, what does it matter? So we go round the sun. If we went round the moon or round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference. All that matters to me is the work.

Sherlock: Look at that, Mrs. Hudson. Quiet, calm, peaceful. Isn't it hateful.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh, I'm sure something will turn up, Sherlock. A nice murder, that'll cheer you up.

Sherlock: You read his blog?
DI Lestrade: Course I read his blog; we all do! Do you really not know that the earth goes around the sun?

John: So why is he doing this, then, playing this game with you? Do you think he wants to be caught?
Sherlock: I think he wants to be distracted.
John: I hope you'll be very happy together.
Sherlock: Sorry, what?
John: There are lives at stake! Sherlock, actual, human lives. Just so I know, do you care about that at all?
Sherlock: Will caring about them help save them?
John: No.
Sherlock: Then I'll continue not to make that mistake.
John: And you find that easy, do you?
Sherlock: Yes, very. Is that news to you?
John: No, no.
Sherlock: I've disappointed you.
John: It's good, it's good deduction, yeah.
Sherlock: Don't make people into heroes, John. Heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one of them.

DI Lestrade: But what has this got to do with that painting? I don't see...
Sherlock: You do see, you just don't observe
John: All right, all right. Girls, calm down.

John: Fantastic!
Sherlock: Meretricious.
DI Lestrade: And a happy new year.

Miss Wenceslas: Who are you?
Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes.
Miss Wenceslas: Am I supposed to be impressed?
Sherlock: You should be. Have a nice day.

Tube Guard: I hate them.
John: The police?
Tube Guard: No, jumpers--people who chuck themselves in front of trains. Selfish bastards.
John: Well, that's one way of looking at it.

Jim: Is that a British army Browning L9A1 in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
Sherlock: Both.

Jim: No one ever gets to me. And no one ever will.
Sherlock: I did.
Jim: You've come the closest. Now you're in my way.
Sherlock: Thank you.
Jim: I didn't mean it as a compliment.
Sherlock: Yes, you did.
Jim: Yeah, okay, I did.

Jim: Although I have loved this, this little game of ours, playing Jim from IT, playing gay. Did you like the little touch with the underwear?
Sherlock: People have died.
Jim: That's what people do!

Jim: If you don't stop prying... I will burn you. I will burn the heart out of you.
Sherlock: I have been reliably informed that I don't have one.
Jim: But we both know that's not quite true.

John: I'm glad no one saw that.
Sherlock: Hmm?
John: You ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk.
Sherlock: People do little else.