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$#*! My Dad Says: Dog Ed Pursuit

Vince is jealous when Ed bonds with his dog. Meanwhile, Henry agrees to go on a date with Katie, Vince and Bonnie's crazy boss, in order to get them a real estate listing.

Source: CBS

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x7
Airdate: Thursday November 04th, 2010

Director: Gail Mancuso
Writer: Jeff Astrof

Alternate Airdates:

UK (Channel 5 +24) Apr 19, 2011
NL (Veronica) Oct 04, 2011

Guest Stars
Missi PyleMissi Pyle
As Katie Palmer
Zibby AllenZibby Allen
As Donna
Main Cast
William ShatnerWilliam Shatner
As Ed Goodson
Will SassoWill Sasso
As Vince
Episode Quotes
Henry: Typewriter? Really? Must accidentally set my time machine back in 1955.
Ed: Maybe you can set it back to 1983. And hand me a condom.

Katie Palmer: So is there a Mrs. Henry?
Henry: Well, my dad calls me Mrs. Henry. But I'm not married.

Ed: Well, I realized that my feelings for Root Beer are not about Root Beer. I think I'm trying to make up for, uh, lost time with someone else.
Vince: You hear that, Bon? Go on, dad.
Ed: When I was younger, there was a special little guy that needed me.
Vince: It's true. There was.
Ed: And where was I? Not there. I was working long hours at the hospital.
Vince: Yeah, I remember that.
Ed: I was stern when I should have been gentle. I was absent when I should have been present. And I couldn't give him what he needed. Now it's too late to tell him.
Vince: Oh, dad, it's never too late. Come on... Tell me. What is it you want to say to me?
Ed: You? I was talking about Schwarzkopf.
Bonnie: You were talking about your old dog?
Ed: Yeah. I wish I'd been a better dad to him.

Henry: I went on a date with her crazy-ass boss.
Ed: Well, you said you wanted someone crazy.
Henry: Yeah... Playboy Mansion crazy, not Bates Motel crazy.
Bonnie: What are you talking about?
Henry: She did something so profound and so disturbing to me that it would make german pornographers blush.
Bonnie: Ouch.
Henry: "Ouch" would be the word. Unfortunately, not the safe word.

Henry: You're telling me there is no such thing as pure white paint?
Donna: Well, white is a misnomer. What you're probably talking about is an ecru, eggshell, pearl, bone, Navajo.
Henry: This is fascinating.
Donna: What's really fascinating is that it goes on white, but when you watch it dry, it changes hue.
Henry: So your job is to watch paint dry?
Donna: It's not so much a job as it is a passion.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDavid Kohan  |  Max Mutchnick  |  Justin Halpern  |  Patrick Schumacker
Executive ProducerDavid Kohan  |  Max Mutchnick
Co-Executive ProducerJeff Astrof  |  Patrick Schumacker  |  Justin Halpern
Supervising ProducerErin Ehrlich  |  Michael Lisbe  |  Nate Reger
ProducerTim Kaiser
Consulting ProducerLaura Kightlinger
Executive ConsultantJonathan Goldstein (2)
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