Ed: Those are muffins, not Girls Gone Wild. Staring at them is not gonna get them to lift up their shirts and go, "Whoo!"

Ed: The Internet? You know, it makes you sound smart even if you're an idiot. It's like having an English accent.

Soledad Cho: Good evening, I'm Soledad Cho. Panties have the night off.
Vince: Wow, that's one hell of a lead story.
Soledad Cho: We take you now to a couch, where a large man is about to enter...
Vince: Okay, Soledad, Soledad. You're moving kinda fast.
Soledad Cho: Oh, I'm an action news reporter. If you wanted to take it slow, you should have put Morley Safer on your list.
Vince: The problem is I'm married. And I'm starting to have some second... [She jumps to his lap] Wow, and that's the way it is. Look, Soledad, it's just that...
Soledad Cho: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to cut you off. Yeah, we're ready to go live to the scene of my boobs.