Ed: I don't know why people wanna communicate all the time. My mother and father were married for 45 years, and the only time I saw them communicate was when she left a note on his oxygen tank saying, "I'm leaving you."

Ed: The moment you give something a name, it's all downhill. That's what happened to Vince and Henry. The first four days of their lives, the unnamed goodson boys were geniuses.

Katie Palmer: Well, those days are behind me. And I've really changed since the last time we've seen each other. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I'm a pisces now.

Ed: I'm happy for you. Glad you found a handsome millionaire who looks like he's wearing the drapes from a Tijuana bordello.
Rosemary Pernworth: Ed, why do you know so much about the inside of a Tijuana bordello?
Ed: Because I do. I gotta go.