Clark: Chloe, what the heck is this? I thought we were coming in here... to get a coffee. How could you do this to me?
Chloe: I didn't know, I swear, I'm sorry, Clark. No, wait! You're not gonna spend the rest of your life hiding in the barn, either. Let's go.
Clark: What is it you always say about Valentine's Day? Oh, yeah. Our annual sneak peek at hell. That must have been before Cupid struck.
Chloe: Don't you think after being trapped in a front seat to the Clark/Lana operetta, I deserve a good V Day?
Clark: You're the only person who can make me feel guilty, relieved and a little sad all in one sentence.
Chloe: It's a gift. Don't worry, Clark. Your achy breaky heart will go away, too, one of these days.
Clark: Can you put that in writing?
Lois: Whoa... is it really wrong that I want these chubby cherubs to burst into flames?
Jimmy Olsen: Look, the way I see it, Valentine's Day is like finding out how babies are born.
Jimmy Olsen: Look, just stay with me. It's like, seems so weird and confusing but when that bomb finally hits, it's like everything clicks into place, you know? It seems to make sense.
Clark: Welcome to the love fest.
Lois: Yeah, me without my uzi.
Chloe: What are you doing? We were supposed to take Clark out tonight, remember?
Jimmy Olsen: Yeah, well, Lois was all alone, and... then it hit me. Lois and Clark.
Chloe: Lois and Clark?!
Jimmy Olsen: You gotta admit, they got chemistry.
Chloe: Yeah, so do nitroglycerin and peroxide, and I don't suggest putting them together!
Lois: Please tell me we weren't just set up.
Clark: Looks like it.
Lois: Us? That's like hot fudge and... halibut.
Clark: I take it I'm the halibut.
Clark: Well, I've had my fill of fat babies with arrows. Knock yourself out, Lois.
Star: Little down on love?
Lois: After my breakup, Cupid could use me for target practice and I still wouldn't feel anything.
Star: Then, maybe you need a little euphoria elixir or romance remedy. Just a nudge in order to move on.
Lois: Move on? Honey, you're talking to somebody who's still waiting for acid-wash to come back in style.
Lois: Here we find ourselves. All alone. Wow! How did I never notice what big, strong hands you have?
Clark: What's going on, Lois?
Lois: Well, you know me. I'm not very good with words so... people don't think Whitesnake sings power ballads but they do.
Clark: You made me a mix CD.
Lois: Yeah. I will kill you if you tell anyone this but... there's nothing that I love more than slow-dancing with some big, strong arms around me... just like yours, Smallville.
Chloe: I did some digging into our favourite Martian Manhunter but it's just coming up empty.
Clark: Yeah, we have another manhunter to worry about. Lois.
Chloe: Why does that make me picture her wielding an axe at every man in Metropolis?
Clark: She's only after one man. Lois is... into me.
Chloe: She's into you? What, like... (Clark shows Chloe the mix CD) Wow! She really pulled out all the stops.
Clark: She's not herself, alright? It's like she overdosed on love potion #9 or something and this isn't funny!
Chloe: Pretty funny!
Clark: Chloe, we have to find out what happened before she strikes again.
Chloe: Too late.
Lois: What is my deal with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors? Thank God I finally found a normal guy.
Clark: What do you mean normal? Oliver's not even in the same league as me.
Lois: You don't have to be macho just for me. I like the dorky farm boy thing.
Clark: Dorkier than a hood and a quiver? Just because I don't wear a costume and splash my face all over the papers...
Lois: Clark! So what if your signature move is driving a tractor? I think it's adorable.
Clark: You know, Lois, I think that it's time for you to meet the real Clark Kent.
Clark: What'd you say about a dorky farm boy?
Lois: Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I can't wait to see what else you can do.
Clark: Well, I'm fast but not too fast.
Lois: You're being very bad. You know, the last time I was here, I was with a good friend of yours.
Clark: Obviously, he wasn't that good. I better make sure you didn't spell my name wrong.
Chloe: You know what, Jimmy? On the list of personality quirks that I have learned to fall in love with, paranoia is definitely at the bottom.
Jimmy Olsen: Translated to "back off"?
Jimmy Olsen: Got it. Chloe...
Chloe: Pushing it.
Jimmy Olsen: Look, if you're really not jealous, then, why are you bailing on your best friend's engagement party? Clark's a big boy. How much damage can Lois really do?
Chloe: You know, you're right. I can just delegate. I've done that... once.
Star: (to Jimmy) This will counteract the aphrodisiac. But, I usually have a sixth sense about people. Something tells me Lois and Clark's destinies are a little more entwined than they realise.
Clark: Looks like we missed dinner.
Lex: Clark, what are you doing here?
Clark: Come on, Lex. You didn't think I was gonna miss this, did you? And, look. My own mother would rather raise a glass with the enemy than stand by her own son.
Martha: Clark, you're not yourself.
Clark: It's okay, Mom. You're more a Luthor than a Kent these days anyway. I mean, Dad's been, what, dead a year? But, who can blame you for joining the race with Lana to see who's gonna add the Luthor monogram to their name first?
Lana: Lex, he's obviously on something and he wants us to react. Please, don't.
Clark: Chloe, I can't say that I'm surprised that you're celebrating here. After all, once Lana's off the market, all those years of unrequited pining may actually pay off. I can't say I haven't thought about it. (turns to Lana) And, you. You know, I got to hand it to you. If you were gonna rebound, why not choose the one person that I hated the most? But, I mean, come on, Lana. The joke's over by now, isn't it?
Lex: Clark, I think you've done enough damage. Why don't you leave?
Clark: I'M NOT DONE YET! Besides, Lex. I haven't given you my gift yet. Congratulations on sealing the deal. To baby Luthor... the real reason that Lana's marrying you.
(Clark knocks Lex flying)
Lana: Lex! (to Clark) How dare you?!
Clark: Come on, Lana, if no one else in this room is gonna save you from Lex, then, I will.
Lois: I don't think so. Lana is your past. I'm your future.
Clark: This is the present.
Chloe: Hey, you got it?
Jimmy Olsen: Mugwort AKA a delegating success story. Now, once this hits her skin, Lois' pumpkin ride is over.
Lois: (to herself) What does she have that I don't?
Jimmy Olsen: So weird to see her acting like a girl.
Lois: What's that?
Chloe: Just a little something to help break the infatuation spell. I think it's time we get those glass slippers back.
Lois: You know what? Stop making fun of my feelings! Just because you never got Clark doesn't mean you need to take it out on me!
(Jimmy sprays Lois)
Lois: Uh... wow! This is awkward. Please tell I was going to a costume party.
Clark: Don't marry Lex. Marry me.
Lana: I have given you... every chance. I have stood in this spot so many times, just waiting for you to say something, and you decide to do it now?! You don't love me, Clark. You just can't stand the idea that I love someone else.
Clark: Mom, you don't think I really meant those things I said about you and Chloe?
Martha: I think there was a grain of truth in all of it. Every time you've been affected by red kryptonite, it hasn't changed who you are. It's just stripped away your inhibitions. I think you need to start being more honest about how you feel.
Clark: So... you're saying that I want to kiss Lois and keep Chloe in my back pocket while the whole time I'm still in love with Lana?
Martha: You're the only one who can sort that out.
Clark: When I kissed Lana, I could tell that she still felt something. And, Mom... Mom, I can't let her marry Lex.
Martha: This is probably hard to hear but I think the best thing you can do is leave her alone.
Lois: Clark, girl alert! I never know what I'll find in a grown man's clubhouse. Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Kent.
Clark: Hey, Lois.
Lois: Yeah, hi. Well, I talked to Chloe and, uh, she filled me in on... Lois gone wild. But, I'm just missing a few details about us... (reveals her tattoo) like this.
Clark: Wow, Lois, I had no idea.
Lois: Save it, Smallville. I was obviously on something. Thank God the ink wears off in a week. Well, I guess it's best that neither of us remembers. I mean I can't even really picture the two of us... You don't think that we...
Clark: Think that we what?
Lois: You know... that we...
Clark: No, Lois. I think I'd remember.
Lois: Yeah, course you would. Highlight of your life.
Clark: Though, I did find something. I think you made it for me.
(Clark shows Lois the mix CD)
Lois: Whitesnake. Wow. I must have really liked you.
Lex: As far as I'm concerned, what we have doesn't have anything to do with Clark. But, then, I wasn't the one kissing him.
Lana: And, I wasn't the one holding a gun to his head.
Lex: Funny how he calls this a game.
Lana: What were you gonna do, Lex? Shoot him?
Lex: If I had to.
Lana: To save me or to hurt him?
Lex: Considering what he did to you, Lana, I had every right to come after Clark. But, the thing is, I... I can't blame him. If I ever let you slip through my fingers, I have no idea what I'd be capable of.