The boys start feeling a sense of deja-vu, as if they're repeating the episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe." Chef takes Cartman and the boys to the proctologist, where Cartman's dormant anal probe suddenly becomes activated. Soon, the boys find themselves chatting with a giant taco and trying to save a universal reality show.
When Christopher Reeve's appearance in South Park draws a bigger crowd than Jimmy's stand-up act, Jimmy is angry. He and Timmy want to start a club for people who have been crippled since birth. They join The Crips, thinking it's a group for crippled people, and get involved in a gang war. Meanwhile, Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman struggle through a battle of their own.
When the art teacher makes the boys stay after school for being rude in class, they TP her home. Afterwards, Kyle feels guilty and wants to confess, but Cartman won't allow it. Officer Barbrady investigates the crime with the help of a vandal named Josh, who wants something in return for his assistance.
The boys are assigned a group history project on the founding fathers of our nation. Cartman doesn't want to do any work so he tries to have a flashback to 1776, which instead results in a trip to the hospital. Meanwhile, war supporters and protesters are fighting in the streets of South Park, and they eventually divide the town in half.
Cartman dresses up his hand to look like a Jennifer Lopez puppet for a presentation on Latinos in the arts. However, after he wins an award, he keeps up the act. The puppet goes on to replace the real Jennifer Lopez, scoring a music deal and stealing her boyfriend, Ben Affleck. Naturally, this enrages Kyle.
The boys play "junior detectives" to earn a little money. The boys solve the case of a missing doll, and the police are so impressed that they make the boys real detectives, assigning them to bust a meth lab. Meanwhile, poor Butters tries to provide a semen sample for evidence in a case.
The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino want to purchase South Park, forcing the residents out of their homes. The boys encourage the whole town to work together to fight them off, staging a sit-in. To get the residents out of the way, the Indians give them blankets contaminated with SARS, and Stan must find a cure to save the town.
The "Metrosexual" look arrives in South Park, and all the guys are trying it. Kyle is the only one who doesn't feel comfortable with it, and he loses friends and gets beaten up for not embracing the new look. Kyle thinks his only solution is to kill the creators of the new fad - the men from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Songs: Widelife, featuring Simone Denny -- All Things Just Keep Getting Better
The boys form a band, but are having trouble finding their identity as a group. Cartman suggests they become a Christian band, but Kyle vetoes that idea. They bet ten dollars to see who can get a platinum album first. Cartman forms his Christian band with Butters and Token, while Kyle and the other boys download music off the Internet and get arrested.
South Park experiences a series of accidents caused by senior citizens and their poor driving skills. When the seniors are treated like children, and are forced to give up their driver's licenses, they fight back with the assistance of the AARP.
Kyle is allowed to take three friends to Casa Bonita (the Disneyland of Mexican restaurants) and he chooses to take Butters over Cartman. Cartman tries to be nice and suck up to Kyle, and at the same time, he does his best to prevent Butters from being able to go.
A new kid joins the class, and he's a Mormon. Stan goes over to beat him up, but instead, they end up having dinner together. Stan sees how happy the Mormon family is, and questions his own family's faith. Randy assumes the Mormons are trying to convert his son, and decides he needs to kick a little ass. Soon Randy gets sucked into the hypnotic tales of Joseph Smith.
An anti-smoking campaign group comes to South Park Elementary. The boys hate the dorky musical performance so much, that they decide to take up smoking just to avoid growing up to be like the performers. When Mr. Mackey catches them smoking, they have to answer to their parents, and to Rob Reiner.
When Wendy dumps Stan, the guys try to cheer him up by taking him to "Raisins", a Hooters-like establishment with perky waitresses. Butters falls for one of the waitresses who flirts with him to earn bigger tips. Stan is still depressed, and becomes a Goth to try and get over Wendy.
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts -- I Love Rock and Roll, Air Supply
-- I'm All Out of Love, Peter Gabriel
-- Shock the Monkey, Cinderella -- You Don't Know What You Got ('Til It's Gone)
Because of a new Prime Minister and a new Canadian law, Ike's birth parents arrive in South Park and take him back to Canada. The Broflovskis are so sad, that Kyle and the boys travel to Canada to get Ike back. Once they arrive, they must go on a Wizard of Oz-like journey to reach the Prime minister and fight for Ike's return.