Mr. Garrison: Settle down, children. I have some difficult news. This is going to make you all very sad. The school board is considering firing me as your teacher. There's a possibility that I will be let go and never allowed to teach you again. (Stan raises his hand) Yes, Stanley?
Stan: That's okay with us.
Kid: Yeah, we don't care.
Cartman: Yeah, that's fine.
Mr. Garrison: (yelling) No it isn't it, it makes you very sad!
Mr. Tweek: These boys should learn how the corporate machine is ruining America. You see, I own a coffee shop and now a great, big, multi-million dollar company is going to move in and try to take all my business, which means I may have to shut down and sell my son Tweek into slavery.
Tweek: Waaah! Slavery?
Mr. Tweek: Yes, slavery.
Stan: (to Tweek) Wow, that sucks, dude.
Mr. Tweek: They really have my balls in a salad shooter.
(The boys see an Underpants Gnome)
Kyle: Sshh, don't scare him!
Stan: Hey there, little guy.
Cartman: Bad! (whacks the gnome with a stick)
Kyle: Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?!
Cartman: Well, look at him. He's all, you know, uh loo- look at him. (whacks the gnome again)
Gnome: Is that all you've got, pussy?!
Stan: Hey, he talks!
Cartman: Yeah, he called me a pussy! I'm not a pussy, you're a pussy!
Gnome: You're a pussy, pussy!
Gnome 2: (walks up to a large chart) You see, Phase 1: Collect underpants. Phase 2: …? Phase 3: Profit.
Cartman: Oh, I get it.
Stan: No you don't, fatass!
That's what Chad Everett thought when the new female intern joined the cast of Medical Center. He thought. 'Who is this woman with her gazongas and high heels? What does she know about medicine?' Well, that intern soon saved Chad Everett's brother with a kidney transplant. So, you see?
is an American actor best known for his character Dr. Joe Gannon, on the drama, Medical Center
Postem: I'm actually interested in something else. I'm John Postem from the Harbucks Coffee Corporation…
Harbucks Coffee is an obvious parody of Starbucks Coffee, a large coffee company based out of Seattle.
Postem: My company's prepared to make you a very generous offer. (opens briefcase) This is a Cramsonite briefcase. All leather, it has four compartments and a keyless lock. Interested?
Cramsonite is a spoof of Samsonite, a luggage brand known for its style, quality and reliability.
How about we do it on that Raymond guy on TV, you know, Everybody Loves Raymond
Everybody Loves Raymond
is a television sitcom that aired on CBS from 1996 - 2005. It starred Ray Romano
as the main character, Raymond Barone.
Postem: (in a camel suit) Hey, kids. I'm Camel Joe, and I love a fresh cup of coffee. It's yum diddly-icious. And it makes you feel super! I have a surprise for you - the new kiddiccino from Harbucks. More sugar and all the other goodies kids like with all the caffeine of a normal double latte.
Camel Joe is a spoof of "Joe Camel," the cigarette-smoking mascot of R.J. Reynolds' Camel brand cigarettes. The company has been accused of using the cute camel mascot to promote their brand awareness among children.
Mayor: Before the vote we'll get a band everyone likes, like uuuuhh, like…
Toto is an American rock/pop band, popular mostly in the 1980s, best known for their hits, "Hold the Line," "Rosanna," and "I Won't Hold You Back."
These boys are absolutely right. We've been using these poor kids to pull at your heartstrings for our cause, and it's wrong. We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.
an American actor, director, producer, and writer. Mrs. Tweek refers to him because he is also a political and anti-tobacco activist.