Mr. Hankey: Howdy-ho, folks. We're gonna do somethin' a little bit different tonight. Instead of our normal thing, we're just gonna sit back and enjoy some holiday songs. And if ya don't like it, well, I guess you can suck my tiny little balls.
News Anchor: Fighting the frizzies, at 11.
Mr. Garrison: (singing) Merry fuckin' Christmas to you!
Jesus: (singing) Joy to the world, for I have come. Let earth receive me!
There's Princess Diana holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head; just watch his weenie grow.
He is referring to Princess Diana of Wales, and Gene Siskel
, the movie reviewer from the Chicago Tribune, who did the show Siskel & Ebert & the Movies
with Roger Ebert
Satan: (singing) There goes Jeffrey Dahmer with a festive Christmas ham... After he has sex with it, he'll eat up all he can.
Jeffrey Dahmer was a serial killer serial killer who murdered 17 men and boys between the years 1978 and 1991. He reportedly had sex with many of the corpses, and ate some of his victims as well.
Gather close together and make it quick! We gotta make room for Andy Dick...
is an American actor/comedian known for his performances on NewsRadio
, and The Andy Dick Show
Okay, Jesus. Here's one you might remember: (sings)
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand... Just like that river twistin' through the dusty land...
Santa is singing the song, "Rio," by British pop band Duran Duran
. It was popular in the early 1980s.