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Kyle becomes sick and needs a kidney transplant, but his mother is convinced that natural cures from a New Age store are better. Kyle's condition gets worse, and it turns out that the only person who is a compatible kidney donor for Kyle is Cartman, and Cartman's not letting his kidney go without a fight. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison is on forced leave from the school, and sets out to write a romance novel.
Wednesday June 28th, 2000
9.4/10 (7 Votes cast)
Trey Parker (1)
voiced Stan Marsh, Eric Theodore Cartman, Herbert Garrison, Officer Barbrady, Terrance, Timmy, Ned Gerblanski, Satan, Randy Marsh, Various
voiced Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McKormick, Gerald Broflovski, Pip Pirrup, Jesus, Jimbo Kearn, Phillip, Saddam, Various
We learn that Cartman and Kyle have the same blood type - AB negative, which is incredibly rare.
Mr. Garrison is put on suspension from his teaching position.
In the promos for this episode, Cartman tells Stan that he's going to spend the $10 million on making pop singer Britney Spears his sex slave. On the actual episode, Cartman tells Stan that what he's going to spend the $10 million on is not an issue, and all that matters is that Stan get the money to Cartman before Kyle dies.
Mr. Garrison: I've always wanted to write a novel.
Mr. Mackey: Well, there you go, m'kay?
Mr. Garrison: But I never know what to write about.
Mr. Mackey: Well that's easy. Write about what you know. Write about what you love. What do you love most?
Mr. Garrison: Besides teaching?
Mr. Mackey: Yes.
Mr. Garrison: …Poontang.
(Kyle throws up)
Sheila: Oh no!
Miss Information: No, no, that's good! Those are the toxins flushing out of the system.
Stan: Those aren't toxins. That's the bean with bacon soup he ate half an hour ago.
Sharon: Stanley, what did I say about being a smartass?
Stan: Don't be a smartass?
Publisher: Mr. Garrison, uh… are you aware that the word 'penis' occurs six thousand and eighty-three times in your novel?
Mr. Garrison: Well, I'm sure there's lots of naughty words. It is a romance novel.
Publisher: Nnnno, I don't think that this book really qualifies as a 'romance novel.'
Mr. Garrison: No?
Publisher: (clears throat) No. No, this is what we in the book-publishing business like to call… gay. Really, really gay.
Stan points out that the "toxins" Kyle vomited up was "the bean with bacon soup he ate a half-hour ago." Kyle is Jewish, and bacon (or any pork products for that matter) aren't considered kosher (though Kyle's family might not be devout, as other past episodes, such as "Starvin' Marvin" and "The Conjoined Fetus Lady" show Kyle's family eating pork products for dinner).
Chairman: Did you know that not one of your students knew who Sam Adams was?
Mr. Garrison: Well, who cares about a guy that makes beer?! Jesus Christ, I'm trying to teach history!
Sam Adams is one of our nation's founding fathers, was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and is known for helping to organize the Boston Tea Party of December 16, 1773. He was also a brewer, and the popular brand of beer, named Sam Adams, is named after him. Apparently, Mr. Garrison is only aware of Adams' second role.
Visual: Edgar's Glue
The name Edgar's Glue and cow logo is a spoof of the company Elmer's Glue.
Visual: Harequin Romance Book Publishing
Harequin is a spoof of a real romance book publishing company, called Harlequin.
Visual: Mr. Garrison's book title - "In The Valley Of Penises"
This is a parody of the title of the novel, The Valley Of The Dolls, and/or its sequel, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
Mr. Garrison, last week's charges of attempting to solicit sex from a minor...
This is a reference to the previous episode, "Cartman Joins NAMBLA