Butters: Hey you guys! We got a big problem!
Kyle: What is it, Butters?
Butters: The kindergartners! I just came from their dress rehearsal. Ho, it's good, you guys. It's real good!
Cartman: How good?
Butters: They got Pilgrim outfits! And Indian ones, too! They've got singing and dancing and boy you've never seen such a show! Why, it's a Thanksgiving extravaganza!

Cartman: Dude, we need your turkey for our play!
Lamond: She's not coming out. She's very upset! She's pooped all over the room!
Cartman: I know, I know, but listen - uh let me try to explain the position I'm in here. The retarded turkey belongs to our friend, Timmy. And Timmy's the only person who knows the part of Helen Keller. So, so tell me what I can do here to make everybody happy?
Lamond: Kill the other turkey!
Cartman: I can't dude. Timmy has a boner for it.

Mr. Mackey: (bored) Every year the fourth graders do "The Miracle Worker," and every year I have to sit and watch it.
Principal Victoria: Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one more time, I'd put a bullet in my head. But luckily I got really stoned before I came.

At the end of the play we can see the audience clapping, but there is no sound of applause.

Cartman: Unfortunate accident? You mean, like Geena Davis getting her own TV show?

Geena Davis is an American actress known for her roles in films such as A League of Their Own, and The Accidental Tourist. She got her own television series, The Geena Davis Show, in 2000.

Jeffery: I will swear it on my life, your play shall want for nothing.

This is a reference to the musical Les Miserables - in the song "Fantine's Death: Come To Me," Jean Valjean says, "I swear this on my life . . . Your child will want for nothing." The tune to which Jeffery sings this is similar to the tune of the song as well.