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Red Hot Catholic Love - Recap

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The parents of South Park are a bit unnerved when Father Maxi announces a Young Men's Catholic Retreat. With all the news of priests molesting little boys, the parents agree now to let their kids go. Becoming paranoid, they bring in a counselor from out of town to ask the children if Father Maxi ever touched them inappropriately. The boys are confused about the "talk," especially when the counselor asks them if Father Maxi ever put anything in their butts. They have no idea what she means, since Father Maxi is an honest priest and never did anything appropriate. While the boys are mulling this over, Cartman arrives with a fantastic idea: He believes that if you put food up your butt, it'll make you crap out your mouth. The boys, especially Kyle, dismiss this as ridiculous. Meanwhile, all of the parents in town decide to become Atheists, due to all of the sexual molestation stories surrounding the church.

Father Maxi gathers together a meeting of priests to discuss the problem of sexual molestation. He is shocked when he finds that ALL of the priests at the meeting have molested boys. THEY feel that the problem is the fact that boys are reporting molestation, not the actual molestation itself. Appalled, Maxi goes to the Vatican, where he speaks to the College of Cardinals about the issue. He gets the same response from them; they've all been molesting boys, but they are angry that the boys are going to the police. They claim that the Holy Document of Vatican Law does not prohibit such behavior, and that it can't be changed because no one knows where it is. Maxi vows to find it and therefore save the Church.

The boys are all in Cartman's bathroom waiting to see him crap out his mouth. To their great surprise, he does and Kyle begrudgingly pays him the $20 that they had bet. News of this spreads fast, and it is actually proved that this method of eating is much healthier than the normal method, and people all over the world begin to do it. The adults in South Park even pass around a wastebasket at their book club meeting so that in case anyone has to use the bathroom they can simply go right on the spot.

Cartman begins boasting nonstop to Kyle about how he was right and Kyle gets angrier and angrier. He finally admits to Cartman that he was right and tells him how genius his idea was. This angers Cartman and ruins the fun of gloating and he curses Kyle then runs off.

Father Maxi goes to search the catacombs of the Vatican for the document. After an old school video game like level, he makes it to the document and brings it back to the College of Cardinals. The Pope says that they must consult the highest power and the Cardinals summon The Queen Spider who maintains that the Holy Document of Vatican Law cannot be changed. This angers Maxi and he condemn the Cardinals of being way out of touch and rips the document in half causing the building to collapse. A Cardinal tells Maxi he ruined the Church, but Maxi claims that all that's ruined are the stupid laws and rules. He goes on to say that what's really important is what's in the Bible. The stories are written as guidelines by which to live good, Christian lives.

The adults in town, having been watching all of this on TV, acknowledge that Maxi is right and they all decide to be Catholic again and stop shoving food up their asses. The episode ends with Randy crapping one final time out his mouth.