Child Abduction is Not Funny - Recap

With all the news of school shootings, child abductions, and terrorist attacks, the parents of South Park become quite concerned about the safety of their children. Tweek, who is already jumpy by nature, is extremely scared by all the news reports. His parents don't help his fears, running cruel intruder drills with him that only scare him more. Tweek becomes so suspicious that he refuses to help a catatonic man who's wheelchair is stuck on train tracks, claiming that he cannot talk to a stranger. That night, a child abductor, claiming to be the ghost of human kindness, attempts to and nearly succeeds to abduct Tweek. Now the parents in town are on full alert.

They mayor instructs the City Wok owner, Tuong Lu Kim, to build a huge wall around South Park (similar to the Great Wall of China). The parents become increasingly paranoid, and begin to follow their kids everywhere for their protection. Then a news report comes out saying that most child abductions are by someone the child knows and trusts. This prompts the parents to grow paranoid of each other.

Lu Kim agrees to the build the wall and gets to work. After he finishes, a horde of Mongols appear and begin to attack the wall because, "Everytime Chinese build a wall, Mongolians have to come break it down!" He tries to fend off the Mongols, but he is no match for their cunning and cleverness. Everytime he repairs the wall, the Mongolians come and ruin it again.

Back in South Park, a new news report states that the majority of abductors are the parents themselves! They decide to send their children out of the city so that they won't be abducted. the children wander off and eventually join up with the Mongols. The Mongols teach the children their favorite hobby, destroying the wall. They go to the wall and Lu Kim does a war dance. While he is dancing and distracting the Mongols, the children wheel a cart full of dynamite next to the wall. By the time Lu Kim realizes what has happened, his wall has been destroyed yet again. The parents arrive to investigate the explosion to find their children have become Mongols. They realize that the news reports have caused them to overreact, and the mayor asks Lu Kim to tear down the wall after all of his trouble to keep it intact. Everything goes back to normal in South Park.

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