My Future Self 'n' Me - Recap

The boys find the remains of a joint left on a stump and want to get rid of it. They're all afraid to touch it, fearing that even by touching it, they'll become drug-attics and will start taking harder drugs. Stan decides to man up, believing that simply touching it won't hurt him.

Later that night while Stan's watching The Osbournes, there's a lightening storm and the Marshes receive a mysterious caller. It's a raggedy looking man who claims to be Stan from the future. The Marshes believe him to be crazy at first, but then the man begins naming various facts about the Marshes, and they believe him. It turns out that Future Stan is a drug-attic who lives in alleyways. He says that he was in juvenile hall as a youngster and his life has been a slow downward spiral. Stan is told that the only to avoid becoming that loser is to be responsible, stay clean, and do well in school.

Stan then asks Butters to help tutor him after school to improve his grades. Butters divulges that HIS future self has been living with him as well. Stan is surprised and goes to Butters' house where he find Future Butters sitting around watching TV. It turns out that Butters is also a screw-up who needs to take medication for his liver which is unhealthy due to massive amounts of alcohol. Stan is buying this, and goes home to find his future self's wallet. He finds a card key that expires in 2002, which is odd because that is next year. Butters and Stan go to the address on the card to a place called Motivation Corp. At Motivation Corp, the boys find that the future selves are really actors hired by parents to scare their kids away from trying drugs. Their parents have been deceiving them the whole time.

Stan is furious at his parents' deception. He and Butters then see an ad in the newspaper for a "Parental Revenge Center" that they pay a visit to and find that the owner of the business is Eric Cartman. Cartman tries to convince them that he is serious about this business and the boys listen to his plans for revenge. When Stan finds that all of Cartman's revenge plans involve smearing their parents' walls with poop, he becomes frustrated and leaves. Butters is all for it however, and agrees to hire Cartman.

Stan then tries to get his parents to admit that they lied to him and that the whole future self idea is a scam. They won't budge, and Stan even goes so far as to fake cutting off his own hand, but his parents stubbornly refuse to tell him the truth. This frustrates Stan even further with his parents' blatant lying. Cartman and his workers begin their task of smearing all of Butters' walls with poop. They cover the house with foul-smelling feces, and then leave. Butters initially fears that his parents will be furious, but they come home, see the walls, and then thoroughly apologize to Butters and tell him the truth about Motivation Corp. Stan is shocked that the plan worked, and at that moment his parents arrive and start to tell another lie, but Stan stops them saying that he knew about Motivation Corp all along. Randy and Sharon apologize saying that they simply didn't know how to talk to Stan about drugs and he tells them he wishes they would've told him the truth originally.

The Stotches and Marshes agree that what Motivation Corp is wrong and hire Cartman to smear all their walls with poop. Stan thanks Cartman, saying that he really did come through. Cartman says that this whole experience has taught him that he should be responsible and take care of himself. Just then, a thin and handsome man in a suit claiming to be Cartman's future self appears. He tells Cartman that this is the day he turns everything around and later becomes the CEO of a time travel company. Cartman mocks him asking if he really thought he'd fall for that and says that because of this, he's going to eat lots of junk and not study. The handsome and thin man then turns into a fat plumber, showing that the man actually was Cartman's future self.

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