Runs with Premise: Look at them! Small-minded idiots pouring their life savings away!
Elder #1: Their cash flows out of them like diarrhea from the buffalo.
Stan: We need something that'll get us money tomorrow!
Butters: Hey, I know! How about a dog parade?
Kyle: Dog parade?
Butters: Yeah! We dress up all our dogs in little outfits, and parade them down the street. It'll be so adorable!
Kyle: How do we make three hundred thousand dollars doing that?
Butters: Oh... uh well, we could sell tickets to our moms and dads.
Stan: Our moms and dads are the ones who need money, Butters!
Mr. Mackey: It's over, Stanley. What else can we do?
Stan: We can stay. And fight!
Cartman: Yeah! When the Indians come to tear up our town, we kick 'em in the nuts!
Randy: Stanley. Did you have an inward journey with the old man? Did you have a vision?
Stan: Uh, I don't know if I did or not. I... I saw something, someone spoke to me and... told me the middle-class white way to cure SARS: Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, Dayquil, and Sprite.
Sheila: Gerald, this is ten dollars a hand!
Gerald: Relax sweetie, (whispers) I know how to count cards.
Sheila: Well, I don't want to play here.
Sharon: Yeah. Come on Sheila, let's go to the nickel slots.
Randy: Oooo, the nickel slots! You might win the thirty dollar jackpot.
(Randy and Gerald laugh)
Ah women, huh? God, I hate 'em.
"Love is a Battlefield"
The song the townspeople are singing is "Love is a Battlefield", made popular in 1983 by singer Pat Benatar
You had me at free blanket.
This is a spoof of a scene from the film, Jerry Maguire
(1996), when Renée Zellweger
's character tells Tom Cruise
's character, "You had me at hello."